Sponge-worthy Security

Jul 20, 2025 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

Kaieteur News – If yuh ever pass a security guard post in the dead of night and see the man look like he auditioning fuh Sleeping Beauty: The Remix, doan be surprised. But what really mek we laugh till we belly hurt is spotting one bright-eyed (well, half-eyed) guard marching into work last night with a big, fluffy sponge under he arm. Not a gun, not a flashlight—no, bai—a sponge. Well more a large piece of foam, longer than he is tall.

Now, we ain’t saying he planning to use it fuh crime prevention, but let’s be real: that sponge ain’t fuh no dog or cat to sleep on. That is a full-fledged human mattress upgrade. Guyana security guards don’t sleep on the job—they sleep in comfort and style. Why rest yuh head on a hard desk when yuh could sink into the luxurious embrace of a sponge that probably cost more than he daily pay?

Is like we witnessing the evolution of guard-napping technology. First, it was the classic “head-on-desk, snoring-like-a-chain-saw technique”. Then came the “lean-‘gainst-the-wall-and-pretend-to-be-checking-ID” move. But now? Now we reach the “bring-yuh-own-bedding” era. Next thing yuh know, guards gon start showing up with pillowcases, nightcaps, and maybe even a lil’ bedtime storybook.

And before anybody get offended, leh we clear one thing: we salute the ingenuity. If yuh gon sleep on the job, at least do it in comfort. Why suffer? The man probably wake up fresher than the CEO who paying he salary. Plus, if thief come, he could always throw the sponge at them and hope fuh the best.

So here’s to you, Sponge Guard. Yuh might not stop a single crime, but yuh definitely raising the standards of workplace napping. Just remember to set an alarm—preferably one loud enough to wake the dead, because we know it gon need to.

Dem Boys Seh… if yuh see a security guard with a sponge, just tiptoe past. He busy recharging fuh… uh… vigilance.

Talk half, leff half

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Dem Boys Seh, Security, Sleeping Beauty, sponge

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