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Tattoo Trouble
(Kaieteur News) – Dem boys seh social media got more drama than village cricket. Every time yuh open TikTok, somebody either getting married, getting divorced, or getting sense too late.
Now dem boys stumble pun one story that mek whole office nearly choke pun dem tea.
A fella bin deeply in love with a young lady named Tina. Not ordinary love, mind yuh. This was de kind of love that does mek people write poetry, buy oversized teddy bears, and do things that common sense does hide from.
He march straight to de tattoo parlour and stamp TINA across he chest.
Big. Bold. Permanent.
Dem boys seh when love fresh, permanent does sound romantic. After breakup, permanent suddenly start sounding like prison sentence.
Well, as fate would have it, Tina decide she ain’t interested no more. She gone one way, he gone another, but poor fella chest refuse to cooperate.
Every morning he had to look in de mirror and remember de woman who had already unfollowed he emotionally.
So, he went back to de tattoo artist.
“Boss,” he seh, “fix dis problem.”
Tattoo man scratch he head longer than a goat looking at algebra. Then genius strike.
He simply add five more letters.
TINA become ARGENTINA.
For a few glorious weeks de man walk round proud like Lionel Messi cousin. People ask bout de tattoo and he chest puff out like he personally score de winning goal.
Then Sunday arrive. Spain beat Argentina in de World Cup Final.
Lawd! Poor man chest lose twice.
First Tina dump he. Then Spain dump Argentina.
Is why dem boys always warn people: never tattoo anything dat can resign, divorce yuh, lose elections, change political parties, or get relegated.
Today’s soulmate could be tomorrow’s stranger. Today’s champion could be tomorrow’s runner-up.
Tattoos got longer contracts than football managers. Dem boys seh if yuh really feel overwhelmed by love, buy flowers. If yuh feeling extra emotional, buy chocolates. If yuh feeling completely irrational, write a poem.
But leave yuh skin alone. Because while broken hearts eventually heal, laser removal still charging by de square inch.
And unlike Tina… …laser don’t accept apologies.
Talk half. Leff half.
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