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Kick-Off Done!
Dem Boys Seh…
(Kaieteur News) – Well, de World Cup fever done. Just like dat. One minute people hollering till de neighbour dog start supporting Argentina, and de next minute everybody back to arguing ’bout potholes, taxes and who bruk de office ruler.
Dem boys notice how de country does transform every four years. People who couldn’t tell de difference between a football and a football field suddenly become international tactical experts. Every man become coach. Every woman become referee. Every child become statistician. Even Uncle Joe, who does call every player “Messi” regardless of nationality, was explaining “high pressing” like he invent it.
Dem boys know one fella who ain’t watch a football match since Maradona had knees. But during de World Cup he walking round wearing a Spain jersey, carrying a whistle, and talking ’bout “false nine.” Dem boys ask he what is a false nine. He seh, “Is when de referee count wrong.”
Then there was de office productivity. During de tournament, people suddenly discover a mysterious illness called Kickoffitis. Every afternoon around match time, stomach start hurting. Boss call meeting at three o’clock and attendance drop faster than England penalties. One clerk even tell he supervisor he had to leave early because he grandmother had “an urgent medical appointment.” Turns out Granny was perfectly healthy—she just wanted company to watch de match.
Dem boys also admire de loyalty of football fans. Argentina supporters become Argentine citizens for one month. Spain fans start rolling de “R” in every sentence. Brazil supporters walking with yellow shirts till de team get knock out. After dat, de jersey disappear.
And de betting! Lord save us. Men who won’t lend dey wife twenty dollars suddenly risking half a month’s salary because some fellow in Europe supposed to score in de 87th minute. By de final whistle plenty people realize de only thing dat come home was debt.
Now de flags coming down. WhatsApp groups stop discussing offside and return to forwarding miracle cures and conspiracy theories. Television remote finally get a rest after suffering repetitive strain injury.
But don’t worry. De fever ain’t dead. It only hibernating. Four years from now de same experts who today can’t remember which team win de Cup gon reappear with fresh jerseys, fresh opinions and absolutely no memory of all de wrong predictions dem make.
As dem boys seh, football may be a beautiful game—but World Cup fever does prove that it is truly global language.
Talk half. Leff half.
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