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Lights, Camera, Koker!
Dem Boys Seh…
(Kaieteur News) – Dem boys seh Guyana done move from oil economy to “whole setta movie economy.” Everywhere yuh turn now, somebody talking bout Hollywood, Bollywood, Nollywood and probably Kittywood too. Is like the country suddenly discover that all yuh need to make blockbuster movie is one drone, two coconut tree and one man who could shout, “Action bai!”
Dem boys seh if this thing continue, soon the seawall gon get more celebrity than Parliament. One day yuh walking normal-normal by Marriott side and suddenly yuh see some big Hollywood actor running barefoot through Kingston because the director trying to recreate an “Amazon jungle escape scene.” The poor actor sweating like he owe GPL money while some Guyanese extra in the background asking, “Boss man, lunch voucher deh?”
And leh we not talk Bollywood. Dem boys seh Bollywood directors done fall in love with Guyana because nowhere else in the world yuh could dance around a sugar cane field, dodge potholes, avoid stray cows and still finish the romantic scene before rain fall. Is only in Guyana heroine could sing love song while minibus conductor in the background hollering, “Stabroek! Stabroek! One seat left!”
Dem boys seh some local people now behaving like they is movie stars already. One man from Albouystown buy dark shades and start answering phone saying, “Tell my agent ah busy.” Agent? The man does sell plantain chips outside Bourda Market.
Another fella hear Netflix scouting locations and immediately start practising fake American accent. He tell people, “Yeah bro, I’m from South Ruimveldt… Texas side.” The accent so bad even he own dog stop responding to him.
But the biggest stars gon be Guyanese mothers. Dem boys seh no Hollywood producer prepared for a Guyanese auntie passing through movie set asking superstar actors if they eat yet. Imagine some famous celebrity trying to stay in character while aunty pushing cook-up rice in deh hand saying, “Take lil more nah, yuh too skinny.”
And honestly, if Guyana really become movie capital, dem boys seh one thing certain: no disaster film could ever frighten Guyanese audiences. We done survive GPL blackout, traffic by Sheriff Street and minibus race by Regent Street. After that, every action movie just look like documentary.
And if dem want somebody to dance like Michael Jackson, you know where to go…
Talk half. Leff half.
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