Guyanese want independent COI, but dem want to pick de independence too

Jul 27, 2026 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

(Kaieteur News) – Dem boys seh Guyana got a special kind of talent. We does ask fuh one thing, get exactly what we ask fuh, and then spend de next three weeks explaining why it ain’t right.

Is like a man who go to de market and tell de vendor, “Give me de biggest watermelon you got.” De vendor find de biggest one, carry it out, and de man look at it and seh, “But why you ain’t ask me if I wanted it round?”

That is how we does operate.

For days now, everybody been shouting: “We need an independent Commission of Inquiry into de MV Barima tragedy!” Everybody beating dem chest and saying only an independent body could find out what happen. Nobody wanted politics. Nobody wanted interference. Nobody wanted anybody with an axe to grind.

Dem boys seh, de cry was so loud that even de fish in de river probably wanted a COI.

Then President announce a five-member Commission. And hear this: de members got experience in maritime matters, law, engineering, compliance and investigations. People from different countries, with professional backgrounds, who apparently have no reason to wake up every morning thinking about Guyanese politics. In other words, exactly what people been demanding.

So naturally, some people vex.

Dem boys seh that is the part of Guyana that does confuse everybody. When you ask for a mango and somebody bring you a mango, you start complaining that it ain’t ripe enough, it ain’t sweet enough, and why de person who bring it didn’t plant de tree.

Now some people saying the Opposition should have been involved in selecting the Commission. Dem boys scratching dem head. Since when a man who already write de ending of a mystery novel should be allowed to choose de detective?

Because long before the Commission announce some people already conduct the inquiry. They already know who guilty. They already know what happen. They already know what went wrong. They already have de verdict, de closing argument and probably de movie rights. They know who should resign, get send home. They already know de boat was not seaworthy even though some of dem saild pun de same boat many times.

An inquiry is supposed to find facts. It is not supposed to find evidence to support somebody’s political position. If you already decide de answer before you ask de question, you ain’t investigating — you campaigning.

Is like sending a man to count cattle after he already decide how many cows de neighbour steal.

The same people who demand independence now want a hand in choosing the independent people. That is like telling de referee, “You must be neutral, but first let me select which side you bat for.”

Only in Guyana.

Maybe what we really need now is a Commission of Inquiry into why Guyanese cannot agree even when they get exactly what they ask for.

Dem boys seh that commission might be de first one in history where the investigators finish the report before the hearings begin.

Talk half. Leff half.

Discover more from Kaieteur News

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

COI, Dem Boys Seh, MV Barima tragedy

Latest News