Latest update September 18th, 2026 10:25 AM
Funeral wear and evening wear are not the same
(Kaieteur News) – Lehmih tell yuh ’bout a fashion confusion dat does turn funeral parlour into catwalk and ballroom into wake. Is all ’bout style, not just colour! Dem aks like de only difference between a sad goodbye and a sweet fête is de mood. But de fashion rules for dese two events are different.
Look pon de two contending styles. Funeral Fashion: Dis one is a quiet whisper. Dem dress simple, like a plain cook-up without de meat. De cut conservative—high neck, long sleeve. De fabric? Modest. No shine. If it have a pattern, is a small, sad one dat crying quietly. De whole vibe saying, “Ah dey wid yuh in spirit,” not “Watch meh spirit wine!”
The other contender is evening-Wear Fashion Oh gosh! Dis one is a loud shout! Dem gown a beg fuh attention. Cut low like how dem men used to weed yuh yard back in de day. De back out like yuh bank account after payday, an slit high like de chances of getting prompt service from a government agency. Fabric sparkling like dem diamond in de Mazaruni, hugging every curve like a long-lost relative.
Is like comparing eddoes to eclairs. One is solid, sensible ground provision. De other is sweet, fluff-up spectacle. Yuh cyan’t show up to Gran’pa Joe send-off looking like yuh ’bout to accept a crown, an yuh cyan’t go to de Gala dress like yuh in charge of de condolences book.
Like dat time with Big Aunty from down de road. Her uncle pass, an she show up at de funeral home in a gown, yes… but dis gown was a production. Fringe shaking, sequins flashing, a deep plunge in front dat look like a mining claim. One a de old auntie squint an whisper, “But wha’ dis? A funeral or a fashion show? She expecting a runway at de end of de casket?”
Big Aunty get dress down so bad after, people say she left looking more mournful dan de widow! De family tell she plain, “Donna, dis is a home-going, not a coming-out party!”
So get yuh styles straight! One is fuh reflect. One is fuh project. As de ole people seh: “Yuh hat fuh de funeral cyan’t be de same one yuh wave in de air at de concert.” Know de difference, or end up like Big Aunty—forever famous as de woman who came to bury Caesar, but dress to seduce he ghost.
Talk half. Leff half
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