Award yourself the Gift of Presence

Jan 05, 2017 Letters

Dear Editor,
Yes, 2017 is here already I am experiencing great difficulty in determining whether I will make a resolution or have a revolution. A resolution is a tricky business, and all of us have things that we could be doing better. There are ways we could improve ourselves, habits we know we should kick, steps we could take towards a happier, healthier life, such as eating healthy, more exercise, earlier bedtimes etc. However, everyone knows that despite its obvious attractiveness New Year resolutions are hard to keep, and very rarely achieve what they promise. A resolution focuses primarily on external behavior, and a revolution on internal beliefs, so while we externally declare that we are going to change, there is an internal discovery of why we won’t change. Perhaps we lack the willpower to keep up new routines over the long haul, or the resistance proves to be too great.
On the other hand, maybe we push ourselves hard enough to reach our goals, only to find the gratification is short lived, it turns into self-righteousness or is replaced immediately with another more difficult goal. Anyway, whatever the revolution, most attempts to take control of our lives, New Year resolutions tend not to work. Plainly put I am looking to internal beliefs rather than forcing external behaviours, and I have no intention of mixing with humans who ask me about my New Year resolutions.
So for 2017 I am not focusing on resolutions but on revolutions based on a single, simple duosyllabic word that will give focus and meaning to the entire year for most of us who dwell on this planet. My revolutionary word for 2017 is presence. Most of us can clearly recall our school years when during attendance call, “present”’ was the usual response to the inquirer indicating your being in class. In the upcoming year we must strive to be present in all we do, because living in the 21st century means that we are constantly connected to something or other, be it cell phone, laptop, I phone, earphones, smart phones, email, she mail all tending to make us more absent than present.
Despite the fact that our mind and bodies are in one place, yet our hearts and minds are somewhere else. We are perpetually distracted and our presence is constantly absent. It is blatantly apparent that the more connected we are with and within the digital world, the less present we are with ourselves and those around us even loved ones.
While in the mall during the recent X –mass season, a young child darted out frantically from behind a display shelf, almost T- boning me, while calling out to her mother who was not yet in my immediate view. I watched with startled curiosity as the young child tried to reach her mother’s hand, then in a childish tone said, “Mommy, put the phone down”. She was frantically trying her childish best to get her mother’s attention, as she tried to show her a package clutched in her tiny hands. She could easily have said “Mom be present”. Taken for granted we fail to recognize the brevity and beauty of life, and that every breath we take is an opportunity to be fully present.
It is somewhat regrettable that we allowed ourselves to be sucked into the ongoing commercialization of Christmas, when we can give more lasting, fundamental, and endurable gifts to each other, to our loved ones and dear friends— our presence —face-to-face presence. Presence demands that we inhabit the moment, and most of all presence is a gift that cannot be imitated, replicated, or replaced by anyone else in the world. Let 2017 be the start of the internal revolution, when we are mindful and wholly present when in the presence of those we love and care for. Parents, and I mean both Mom and Dad, can start by being in the home and present with their school age child/ children.
Allow her to complete her homework in your presence, read with him or be present to answer questions when asked, be present at the supper table to hear about the day’s happenings at school in the playground, the locker room or even what took place on the bus. Parents look into your children’s eyes and assure yourself that there is nothing else in the world that you need to be doing besides being present. Allow nothing to vie for your attention. The old cliché states that it is in giving that we receive. So for 2017, here’s the solution to the revolution— give the present that would last way beyond the season, -presence and in doing be rewarded with the gift of wholeness.
Yvonne Sam

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