Cat-astrophe and dog-gone trouble

Jun 06, 2026 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

Dem Boys Seh…

(Kaieteur News) – Dem boys seh if yuh want know which population growing fastest in Guyana, don’t check the census. Just walk down any street.

At the rate things going, soon deh gon have more puppies and kittens than people. In fact, one of dem boys seh he pass a street the other day and count ten dogs, eight cats and only two humans. He seh if elections call tomorrow, deh animals might qualify fuh a constituency of dem own.

Now, nobody seem fuh see this as a major problem. De authorities behaving like if de stray animal population is a secret national project. Every month yuh seeing new puppies. Every month yuh seeing new kittens. Yet nobody asking where all these creatures coming from.

One of dem boys seh de dogs reproducing at a rate that would make economists jealous. Another seh if Guyana could produce electricity as fast as stray dogs producing puppies, GPL bills would drop to five dollars a month.

And spare a thought fuh de people who trying fuh exercise.

Long ago, de biggest challenge when jogging was finding motivation. Nowadays, de biggest challenge is outrunning a dog with anger-management issues.

One gentleman tell dem boys he start morning exercise to improve his heart health. Five minutes into de jog, three stray dogs start chasing him. He seh by de time he reach home, he break every Olympic sprint record and his fitness improve in one morning.

Another runner seh he now carrying a whistle, a stick, pepper spray, holy water and a written will whenever he exercising. He seh yuh can never be too prepared.

Dem boys also notice de cats getting more confident. Before, cats used to run when they see people. Now some of dem sitting down in de middle of de road watching traffic like if dem own de transport ministry.

One cat even stare at a man so hard that de man apologise and walk around it.

Dem boys seh this issue might not seem serious until one morning yuh find yuhself negotiating right of way with a committee of dogs and a supervisory board of cats.

Something got to be done. Otherwise, by 2030, Guyana might become de first country where de animals conducting de census and counting de humans.

Talk half. Leff half.

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census, Dem Boys Seh, population

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