What to do while waiting for the results

Aug 31, 2025 Features / Columnists, Peeping Tom

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Kaieteur News – Elections in Guyana are a peculiar thing. On Election Day itself, everything is calm, peaceful, tranquil—almost suspiciously so. People line up, they dip their fingers in ink, they make their mark, and then they go home to stew.

The real drama begins not with the voting but with the waiting. It’s the aftermath that gets you. Like sitting in a dentist’s office, you’re not afraid of the tooth being drilled. You’re afraid of what the bill will look like.

And in Guyana, the bill takes days to come. Days. Sometimes weeks. It’s as if the results must be personally couriered from an obscure Himalayan monastery where monks chant the numbers before releasing them to the world. Even when everyone knows who’s going to win—as was the case from 1966 to 1985, and as will be the case in 2025 when the favourite will canter home like Secretariat at Belmont—the national anxiety doesn’t subside. People pace, people fret, people prepare for disturbances that does not always happen but always might.

So, in keeping with tradition, and since discussing politics today is as welcome as a mosquito at bedtime, I offer some survival tips. Think of them as psychological mosquito repellent for the post-election wait.

1. Immerse Yourself in Cricket.

We’re in the thick of the Caribbean Premier League, which is basically therapy in the form of sixes and wickets. Nothing calms nerves like watching your team collapse from a strong position, because suddenly election uncertainty doesn’t seem so bad. If you’re worried about violence in the streets, just remember that at least the umpire doesn’t need a police escort to signal “out.”

2. Switch Over to Tennis.

If cricket isn’t stressful enough, the US Open is on. Nothing like watching millionaires in headbands grunt over a ball to distract you from existential dread. Besides, tennis teaches patience. You can wait through five-set marathons that last longer than some governments. If you can endure a tiebreak in the fifth set, you can survive waiting for results to be tabulated in Region Four.

3. Watch a Movie.

This is classic escapism. If you have Netflix, wonderful. If you don’t, there’s always the underground economy: pirated DVDs sold on pavements that will outlast the pyramids. Buy three for a thousand dollars and spend the evening watching Vin Diesel save the world for the fifteenth time. By the time you’re done, you’ll forget whether you’re waiting for election results or for a pizza delivery that’s one hour late.

4. Read a Book.

Yes, books still exist, though they’re often used more as decorative pieces to balance wobbly furniture. But crack one open! Read something soothing, like Tolstoy, which makes election results look lightning-fast by comparison. Or Kafka, who was essentially writing about Guyanese bureaucracy before it was fashionable.

5. Educate Yourself on YouTube.

There’s an entire world of videos teaching you how to change a tire, how to speak Mandarin, or how to make sourdough bread in 487 complicated steps. By the time you master one, you’ll be fluent in another language, have a new carb addiction, and, if the election results still aren’t in, you’ll at least be able to curse fluently in Mandarin about it.

6. Learn to Cook.

This is my personal favourite, though mostly because it involves eating. There’s something deeply calming about discovering that you can produce edible food that isn’t a cheese sandwich. Experiment with recipes. Pretend you’re a chef, yell at yourself in the mirror, then burn the curry. The distraction is worth it.

7. Sleep

This one requires skill. Sleeping through Guyanese election results is like sleeping through a hurricane. You need earplugs, blackout curtains, and possibly medication. But if you can manage it, imagine waking up three days later, blinking at the headlines, and saying, “Ah, so that’s who won.” Bliss.

8. Treat It as a Vacation.

This is perhaps the healthiest approach. Pretend the country has given you a few extra public holidays. Lounge in a hammock. Take walks. Drink coconut water. If anyone asks why you’re not at work, simply say, “I’m waiting for the elections to finish.” It’s the one excuse everyone understands.

Because here’s the truth: no matter the outcome, the results will taste better if you’ve taken the time to recharge your batteries. Like bad medicine, they go down smoother if you’ve spent the waiting period on something other than panic.

So, my advice is simple: do not obsess. Distract yourself. Treat the next few days as an enforced retreat with fewer massages and more mosquitoes. And when the results finally arrive, whatever they may be, at least you’ll face them with a clear head, a full stomach, and maybe even a newfound talent for cooking.

Which, when you think about it, is more than most elections have ever given us.

(The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this newspaper.)

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• cricket, Election Day, Elections, Peeping Tom, Result

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