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De long road to nowhere
Dem Boys Seh…
Kaieteur News- Everybody want dem voice heard. And dat is a good thing. Democracy wukking. But some people, when dem decide to write a letter to de editor, dem does tek de long road, detour through Mahaica, stop by Uncle Roy for plantain chips, and still don’t reach de point.
De editor seh, “Keep it under 500 words.” But some people does see that as a challenge. Not to stay under—but to see if they could use 499 words before even mentioning the topic.
Take for example this recent gem:
“Dear Editor,
Permit me space in your esteemed and highly regarded publication to offer a few thoughts on a matter that I believe strikes at the very heart of our beloved nation’s democratic ethos, namely, the conduct of minibus drivers, especially as it pertains to their indiscriminate stopping along our nation’s roadways, particularly during peak hours, which invariably contributes to the already burgeoning problem of traffic congestion, a matter that has plagued this country for decades without respite or remedy, despite the best efforts—however ill-conceived or poorly executed—of successive administrations. I recall quite vividly, some twenty-five years ago, traversing the East Coast Demerara roadway, when even then…
[Editor’s note: letter continues for another 786 words, includes childhood trauma, a quote from Gandhi, and ends with a plea for divine intervention.]
Now, here’s what the same letter could’ve looked like:
“Dear Editor,
Minibus drivers need to stop blocking traffic every five minutes. They behave like every lamppost is a bus stop. Can we enforce the law already?
—Name “
You see de difference? One letter is a PhD thesis; de other one is a public service announcement. Same message. Less drama. Less ink. More sanity.
Dem editors tired. De poor typesetter got carpal tunnel. De readers fall asleep on paragraph four, wake up in paragraph nine and still don’t know what de topic is.
Next time you want to write de editor, remember: brevity is not a sin. Is a blessing. Unless yuh aim is to bore people into submission, then by all means—add an epigraph, a poem, and a flashback to 1973.
Dem boys seh, keep it short… and to de point!
Talk half. Leff half.
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