Confessions of an abused young woman

Jan 01, 2022 News

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Kaieteur News – I was 15 years old when my innocence was stripped from me. It pains my heart to write about it as much as it does to tell the story verbally, not only because I am fearful of how people would view me, but because I fear they may also blame me.
It’s the very reason I never told my mother what happened, and even though I am much older now, I am yet to gather enough courage to break her heart with this detail, which I am sure she can live without.
Rape is when a person penetrates someone’s vagina, anus or mouth with a penis, without their consent and sexual assault is when someone penetrates the vagina, anus or mouth, with any part of the body other than the penis, without the person’s consent.
Other forms of sexual assault are, someone touching another person in a sexual way without their consent; causing someone to touch the perpetrator in a sexual way; causing someone to touch someone else in a sexual way, all without the person’s consent.
MY STORY
It happened when I had just finished secondary school and was on work study at a health centre. The evil man who took advantage of me was a doctor. I never complained because I worried it would stain my reputation and I would probably never get a job. As silly as it sounds, it’s just the way some teenagers think.
I wish there were more campaigns back then, like there are now, that encourages one to speak out against abuse. I had no idea what was happening, or why, or how I should handle it.
No child should be forced to live with this burden. Imagine it was your own, how would you have dealt with the matter? Thinking of this made me never want to share this horrible story with my mom. She was so strict that I feared her reaction.
While on work study, the doctor, who was seemingly also very young, would compliment me and I would shyly accept his remarks. I had never imagined what could have been the outcome.
It went from the inappropriate comments, to one day touching me in places I dare not mention. My intent here is not to scare young girls away from attending work study, but to encourage you to be strong enough to tell someone if these incidents do occur.
The first time he touched me, we were in a medicine room getting drugs for patients. The nurses were in another room handling pregnant women that day. He tried to not only grope me, but kissed me. His breath smelled like cigarettes at 09:00am and, indeed, I ran from the discomfort.
Fearful of what the outcome of that morning would be, I naively stayed behind that day to talk to him about what had happened, after all the other staff members had left.
It was the worse decision of my life. The doctor did not penetrate me, but he had exposed his body to me and did things I wish I could forget.
The days passed and I was fearful to show up, but when I did, I returned wearing pants, embracing the excuse that my uniform skirt made me uncomfortable. My friend who was also on work-study with me had noticed my behaviour and questioned me. I had confided in her but made her promise not to ever tell anyone.
Resolution
While it is my wish that something of this nature never happens to any other young woman, I don’t think I would want to pursue the matter legally. This does not mean that you shouldn’t.
I am now married and have moved on with my life and so has the doctor, I’ve been made aware. The last time I saw him, I was alone in a shopping Mall. I saw him and shuddered. I pretended as though I never noticed him but along came this woman with a pregnant tummy, who took him by the arm.
I breathed a sigh of relief that he did not approach me, but I also wondered what circumstances got that pretty girl there.
This year, 2022, my intention is to start a support club for girls who have been abused in one way or another. I have learnt that talking about the experience with people who understand, brings with it some level of comfort. It may not drain away those nasty feelings of hurt, anger and shame that we feel, but it gives us hope.
It is my hope too to gather enough strength and courage to tell my mom what happened.
Moving on
It would be difficult for someone who had never experienced such a trauma to even understand the hurt we feel. However, I am using the little influence that I am blessed with, as a writer, to urge abused persons to tell their stories.
Share it with someone. I implore you. At times I regret not having opened up about my experience earlier. I often think of how justice could have been served. If the evil man would have been locked up, or if he would have been stripped of his licence.
To be honest, I feel like he would have deserved every bad thing that came his way and so my advice is to share your experience. You deserve justice!
Moving on from an abusive page in your life has to be the most difficult thing for a person. It affects your confidence, your trust in people you care about, and more importantly, it tortures the mind forever.
As throbbing as those memories are, it is impossible for them to be erased easily. Even years later, I still punish to forget the nasty things he did to me as a teen.
Statistics
Research shows that in the first quarter of this year alone 635 girls were abused as compared to 404 boys.
The types of abuse reported include: physical, sexual, verbal, neglect and abandonment.
Statistics for the remainder of the year was solicited from the Director of the Childcare and Protection Agency, but according to the official, there is a process in which information is disclosed to the public, which she implied may very well result in the statistics being relayed weeks later.

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