Latest update April 26th, 2026 12:45 AM
Latest News
The Parrot…Yam demand Bolt-ing
The Parrot, like billions of others, is still stunned by the now seemingly effortless display of forward propulsion by a human being. After Ben Johnson a few Olympics ago, it was difficult to envisage that someone else could have achieved that level of increasing acceleration within ten seconds. But, it happened, through Usain, bolt-ingly, and Ben’s effort now seems to be in tortoise land.
The Caribbean rejoiced; Jamaicans ecstatic and the US shocked into silence; so shocked that many who missed the race are still unable to catch the replay. If it were Gay or Dix with the gold medal around their neck, we would have been forced into boredom by frequent replays. Usain saved us from this. The Parrot offers congratulations. His lighting jet-like bolt on the tracks of Beijing over one hundred metres exemplifies the extreme in human achievement.
His country men and women would forever be proud and those who witnessed it are considered privileged. The Parrot wonders, had he not deliberately slowed down just before the end, what the record time would have been. His slowing was probably because he was in disbelief that the others were “some” distance behind; he looked around and found no one. This is not normal in this race; it’s always extremely close. Maybe, being a good Samaritan, he was tantalisingly encouraging them on. His coach should instil that when he bolts; he bolts.
The Parrot was reliably informed that following Bolt’s victory, and his father’s subsequent disclosure that yam was the primary source of his son’s energy, the edible root is now scarce.
Yams in demand; can hardly be found in Jamaica, the rest of the Caribbean and even Guyana. Everybody looking for yam, men and women alike; men for themselves and the ladies for their men; their endurance, not speed. Those exercising on the seawall rushing home for yam; They dissing the red bull; it turning blue on the shelves. The vendors vex with Bolt for this; blue vex.
Those selling cassava, plantain, eddoe and bush-for-anything, bolting from proximity of yam vendors. They turn like the Americans who dammed the yam; can’t tek de campatition. Some boys seh that in addition to the yam vendors, they know one man who smiling at the yam demand; Minister MBA. The man happy more than Bolt because Bolt has given his “Grow More” campaign a bolt. Everybody bolting to plant yam; yam seeds are being distributed. By sheer coincidence, Bolt has unofficially become the campaign’s icon.
Apparently it’s the same situation in the Caribbean, wait…wait, I ah…a…just receive an e-mail on my Yam-fone that massive bush-clearing is currently underway in the US, no not the election campaign, land clearing to plant yam. Just like how the many celebrities endorse the various breakfast cereals; the same is in process for yam and yam products. Look out for low cholesterol yam, fat free yam, diet yam and energy yam.
The Parrot learnt that Henry seh that yam must become the staple for the boys; de Slow has to eat. CN seh dem mus’ nyam yam. De boys apparently don’t mind, but want Henry to have an adequate supply. Given the current mad hunt for yam, what happens if a wanted man is named Yam? De boys seh, “no problem mon”. Squawk! Squawk!
Share this:
Discover more from Kaieteur News
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.