Getting nightmares from disbeliefitis

Aug 17, 2008 Features / Columnists

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The Parrot is a movie buff; just love the stuff. Of course like anything else, there are good ones and ones which you regret wasting your time watching.

For many, movies are an integral part of life, and for some, the major source of entertainment. They are also conversation pieces and can lead to heated debate.

I am sure at some point in time you would have been involved in high-decibel exchanges regarding a particular movie or an actor. The decibel increases if someone tries to bring into disrepute your favourite actor.

The good old days of cinema were punctuated with these “discussions”. We all have our choices in terms of genre: action, comedy, drama, sci-fi etc. I am a fan of horror, comedy, mystery, adventure, espionage and those with political themes.

Amongst my favourites in horror are “Halloween”, “The Exorcist”, “Friday the 13th” and “Nightmare on Elm Street” and its sequels.

Michael Myers, Jason and Freddy Kruger all became household names over the years. A movie was even made to capitalise on the popularity of Jason and Freddy; “Freddy versus Jason”.

I still remember the days when friends and I used to “skulk” from school and rush to the cinema. The “manager” used to sign at the back of the ticket which allowed us in. Seeing Freddy in action in “Nightmare on Elm Street” was one such occasion.

Everybody got scared and quiet during the “picture”, even those who were boasting about their “unafrighteness” before the start.

Screams were audible in addition to the sounds of bugs and cockroaches being squashed. Sometimes while anticipating the next scary moment, the squashing sounds were misinterpreted.

Some friends said they got nightmares many nights after and were afraid to sleep even in daytime. If you saw “Nightmare on Elm Street” you would remember that the main characters within could not afford to sleep; sleeping put them at risk of having a nightmare and being haunted by Freddy.

Freddy was scary then, and will be now, for those who would rush to the DVD stores to purchase the movie for two hundred dollars or less. As teenagers then, anybody who had a scary appearance was called Freddy. Even people named Freddy were afraid of Freddy.

The Parrot has noticed that since the conclusion of the recent ruling-party congress, a man name Freddy has become very possessed and perturbed at the results.

The man was shocked; his discomfort obvious. The Parrot was reliably informed that since the first weekend of this month, Freddy can’t sleep.

He is twisting and turning and fuming. Psychoanalysis shows that he is exhibiting symptoms of disbeliefitis; he can’t believe the results.

His disbelief stems from his skewed analysis and perpetuation that a certain man would have garnered a high percentage of votes; votes which would have placed him, the man, amongst the top five.

Freddy was exuding with confidence prior to the congress; so confident that he could not even contemplate being wrong. But as it turned out, he was dead wrong. His candidate didn’t make the top five or the top ten or the top twenty.

This has devastated Freddy; so devastated that he has strewn all of his books in his home library as he continues is desperation to find a Freudian explanation.

He has even sought many “second” opinions in an effort to disprove his original diagnosis of disbeliefitis. The results were the same.

The Parrot, in an independent analysis which examined the symptoms Freddy has shown publicly, came to the same conclusion and has prescribed the relevant treatment which is free and easy to administer.

However, in Freddy’s case, even the simplest of procedures can be extremely challenging; something which can be done in five minutes can take about fifty sessions of psycho-therapy.

This is compounded by the fact that the results have been haunting him since; a haunting that has led to nightmares even during the day.

Just like those in “Nightmare on Elm Street”, Freddy, not the “haunter”, “the hauntee” is afraid to sleep.
We all know about the devastating effects of sleep deprivation; it can cause hallucination.

It can also cause an erosion of one’s ability to think logically. Some believe that Freddy, not the one from Elm Street, has been showing these symptoms a long time ago and has not slept since about eight years now.

His state of mind begs for sympathy. Being sympathetic, I would once again state publicly the treatment I recommended to him before.

It’s simple. Freddy, to rid you of your symptoms, just understand that democracy is in action; people can now choose freely; you cannot dissuade people from the choices they make, and will make in the future; you don’t shape or determine public opinion and you cannot impose your fixations on others.

The faster you administer this, the faster you can return to normalcy. Elm Street can then be safe for you.
Squawk! Squawk!

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