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UG gone for Ron
Dem boys seh when dem hear UG gone for Ron, dem nearly drop dem tea. Not because Ron ain’t qualified, mind you, but because all along dem boys bin betting dem money pon Randy. Turns out UG stick with de alphabet but change de name. Ron instead of Randy. Same letter, different man. In Guyana, sometimes that is close enough for government work.
Now Randy, poor soul, got to settle for Pro-Chancellor. Which sound like when yuh come second in a beauty contest and dem give yuh “Miss Congeniality.” Still important, but nobody really sure what yuh does do. Dem boys figure at least both names start with R, so no need to change de monogram pon de office towels.
As soon as de announcement drop, Guyana erupt. Some people praising de appointment like UG just discover penicillin. Others criticising it like de man personally cancel dem internet subscription. And den you had a whole set who simply wanted to say something—anything—because silence in Guyana does cause rashes. Dem ain’t sure if dem vex or dem glad, but dem know dem must be emotional.
Dem boys, as usual, does ask de dangerous question: what all de fuss about? Everybody acting like de Chancellor does run lectures, mark papers, and chase students who owe library books. But last time dem boys check, de Chancellor job is mostly ceremonial. Smile, shake hands, make speech, cut ribbon, clap politely, and go home.
And in a small country like Guyana, dem boys wondering why we need so much layers. A Chancellor, a Pro-Chancellor, a Vice-Chancellor, and a couple Deputy Vice-Chancellors. That sounding less like a university and more like a wedding cake—tier on top of tier, but nobody sure who baking. Meanwhile some students still waiting pon grades, lecturers still waiting pon resources, and buildings still waiting pon paint. So leh dem argue. Ron got de chair, Randy got de spare, and UG still UG.
Talk half. Leff half.
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