Map can’t drain water, Boss Man!

Oct 21, 2025 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

(Kaieteur News) – Dem boys seh this country love big fancy word and high-tech project. Every time rain fall and water rise, somebody gon come up with one big plan. Now de latest plan is fuh “mapping the city drains and canals.”

You hear that? Mapping! Like dem drains is lost tourist and we need GPS fuh find dem. But lemme tell yuh something — map don’t drain water, bai. Yuh could map from here to Mahaica, if de outfall choke, Georgetown still gon float like Noah ark.

Now dem boys nah trying fuh knock de President. De man like he get a knack fuh impossible missions. He tek on road, bridge, flood, garbage, traffic, and even light rail — and that alone could qualify he fuh sainthood. But even saint does need sense and shovel. Before yuh map de trench, yuh gotta clear de mouth.

Right now, Georgetown drains slow like old molasses. De water trying fuh run to de river, but when it reach de outfall, it meet a wall of mud saying, “Nah today, boss.”

Dem boys seh, it easy is fuh fix dis thing? Put one excavator pon a pontoon, go by de outfall, and dig! Not rocket science. Just dig, man! Every Guyanese know dis — if de koker can’t open and de outfall block, de whole place gon flood. Yet dem big consultant walking round wid clipboard and tablet talking bout “digital mapping.” Wah yuh gon do? Send drone fuh tell yuh de water ain’t moving?

Yuh know what gon happen next? Dem gon publish nice map wid blue lines showing every canal in Georgetown, all labeled pretty-pretty: Lamaha Canal, Sussex Street, Princess Street. But yuh see when rain come, dem same line gon turn into swimming pool. Dem boys seh map ain’t worth one dry coconut if de water can’t find way to sea.

We hear Operation Rescue Georgetown gan start soon. Well, dem boys seh rescue must begin at de mouth. De canals trying fuh talk, but dem mouth full of mud. Open dem kokers when de tide right, let de pressure flush de mud, and watch de city breathe again. Simple like that. But no, we love ceremony. We love project launch. Soon yuh gon see man cutting ribbon fuh one “Drainage Mapping Initiative.”

Dem boys seh, all dem fancy plan is fine, but before yuh start drawing line pon paper, tek de bucket and clear de drain. Map can’t move mud, boss man. Georgetown need action, not app!

Talk half. Leff half.

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canals, Dem Boys Seh, drain water, drains, map

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