De new national sport – park behind people and disappear!

Oct 12, 2025 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

Yuh know, dem boys seh Guyana don’t need no new national sport. We done find one already — reverse parking behind people and vanishing for hours! Is de new craze sweeping de nation. You park nice and proper, diagonal like de sign seh, feeling proud you following de law. Yuh even straighten de steering wheel like a model citizen. You gone in de store, come out feeling good… and BAM! Somebody deh park straight behind yuh, lock yuh in like yuh in Camp Street jail.

Now yuh watching de sky, hoping de traffic cop wid de clamp show up. But dem boys seh clamp man only appear when yuh double park fuh two seconds to drop yuh granny groceries. When yuh really need he, he gone on “strategic retreat” — probably somewhere clamping a bicycle or buying lunch.

So yuh waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Yuh see people come and go. Yuh grow a beard. Yuh phone battery dead. Yuh start question yuh life choices. Then, like a miracle from de heavens, de owner of de offending vehicle stroll back two hours later, swinging de keys and smiling broad like he just win de Lotto. And when yuh ask, “Boss, yuh ain’t see yuh block me in?” — he look surprise, scratch he head, and seh, “Oh lawd, sorry ’bout that, bai.”

Muted apology. No shame. No urgency. Just pure Guyanese confidence.

Dem boys seh we need a new ministry — Ministry of Common Sense and Courtesy — because clearly dem things get deported long time. Until then, maybe we got fuh start travelling wid folding chairs, snacks, and a good book fuh when de “blockers” appear.

Or better yet, let’s make it official: next Mashramani, let’s put up a float called “De Parking Olympics.” Events include Precision Blocking, Disappearing Act, and Fastest Fake Apology.

Only in Guyana, boys and girls — where parking legally is risky, but parking illegally is national pride!

Talk half. Leff half.

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