Some more thoughts on corporal punishment

Dec 15, 2014 Letters

---

Dear Editor,
Corporal punishment has been a hot topic on the minds of many. The recent debate about corporal punishment, whether at home or in school, has certainly flushed the furor and disagreement over spanking back into the limelight, But it also reveals a bigger problem—the tragic state of confusion and disarray in Guyanese families?
Spanking does not cause child abuse, partner-to-partner abuse or wrecked marriages. Our selfish, self-centered human nature does. It should be noted that conducted research in North America has revealed that the effect of spanking on black children was different than it was on white children.
Duke University experts (who still oppose corporal punishment) found that any damage caused to children by spanking, paddling or other forms of punishment is not as much about the physical act as it is the psychological message imparted by the parent. Actually, the Duke experiment showed that African American parents were better at giving corporal punishment than white parents.
According to Professor Dodge, to the extent that the child understands and appreciates genuinely that the child is loved by the parent, and that even though it hurts, the parent’s intent is to help the child—to the extent that the child understands that, the consequences are not negative. If the child interprets it as a parent who is out of control, or a parent who does not love the child—a parent being hurtful and hateful—that is the bad message and the mechanism by which (the negative outcome) happens, Dodge continued. This is the most important point to consider in regard to the whole corporal punishment issue.
Some scholars warn against the serious psychological harm done to children when parents use non-spanking punishment such as screaming at children. Screaming is now called the “new spanking. Some experts now believe that when a parent “loses it” or verbally “goes ballistic” on their children, it can be more damaging psychologically than spanking. Yet no one is advocating a legal ban on moms and dads screaming at their children.
No academic study can help us here. Who in Guyana, or the world over, knows how to make family work? Who knows how to build strong families that will not tear down society, but will help build it up? Spanking isn’t the real question. The real question is: What is the right way to raise children?
The principle of spare the rod and spoil the child was commonly observed until not long ago. Those who beat their children could cite the Bible. The book of Proverbs equates not physically punishing a son with hating him. Kids need discipline. How and when did this change for so many of us? The expression “spare the rod and spoil the child” is not found in the Bible.
However, the proverb he referred to is Proverbs 13:24: “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” A more modern translation reads, “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him” (English Standard Version).
Nowhere in the Bible are parents given permission to physically abuse their children. However, parents are instructed to be loving teachers. In the Authorized Version the English word chasteneth is translated from the Hebrewmusar, which means to give instruction, warning, reproof and rebuke. Kids need discipline. How and when did this change for so many Guyanese?
At one time, so long ago in Guyana, parents did rely on the Bible to instruct them how to raise families. Our ancient parents built a societal foundation predicated on families following the principles of the Bible to live, grow and build a successful nation. Our generation has lost sight of this primary Guyanese value.
What is the result? Our families are dysfunctional, and the nation they constitute is now in obvious and serious decline. Guyana has become a nation living without more than spanking. The country has become a nation guilty of allowing its children to comfort, teach and nurture themselves. In bitterness and resentment, our children have become our oppressors (Isaiah 3:12). It is more than a condemnation of children—it is an indictment against parents who fail to build proper families.
Believe it if you want, but the Good Book is full of examples of what happens to families and nations that desire to live without godly spanking and the love, teaching, chastening, guiding and nurturing that goes with it. Examine the life of our first parents, Adam and Eve. They chose to disbelieve God, and they ended up raising a delinquent son who murdered his brother. In Guyana, if we truly want to help our children and fix our family problems, then we must get back to a Bible-based formula for child-rearing.
Yvonne Sam

---

---