Latest update June 2nd, 2026 12:36 AM
Jun 02, 2026 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists
(Kaieteur News) – There is an old Guyanese complaint that has survived governments, Commissioners of Police, constitutional reforms and even the arrival of fibre-optic internet. That complaint is that when you call the police station, more often than not, nobody answers the phone.
Many citizens can tell stories of dialing repeatedly, listening to endless ringing, and get no response. It happens.
Yet, just when the nation was beginning to think that the police telephone system had collapsed entirely, a recent video provided a remarkable breakthrough. It turns out the police phones do work.
Not only do they work, but some members of the public appear to possess the personal cellphone numbers of multiple ranks. Better still, they seem to know everybody by name.
While ordinary citizens are engaged in an archaeological expedition trying to locate a functioning police line, others apparently have the police on speed dial.
Imagine the contrast.
One citizen spends forty-five minutes calling the station.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
No answer.
Meanwhile, another individual casually scrolls through his contacts.
“Sergeant John.”
No answer.
“Inspector Bob.”
No answer.
“Corporal Harry.”
No answer.
The man is practically conducting roll call by cellphone.
At this point, the Guyana Police Force may wish to publish two directories: one for the public and another for the blessed few who appear to possess the premium package.
Perhaps we have misunderstood the system all along. Maybe there are different service tiers.
There is the Standard Plan, where the station phone rings until retirement. Then there is the Gold Plan, where you know somebody who knows somebody. And finally, there is the Platinum Elite Executive Package, where you have half the station stored in your contacts list and can call ranks individually.
The lesson from the recent episode is reassuring. The police are not unreachable. Far from it. In fact, they may be just one cellphone call away.
The only remaining mystery is how the rest of us can get the number.
Talk half. Leff half.
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