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Bore de Line Olympics
Kaieteur News – Dem boys seh Guyana got it own brand of Olympics—de Traffic Games. De newest and most popular event is called “Bore de Line and Cut In Like Yuh Own de Road.” Is a real crowd favorite. Yuh ain’t see so much horn blowing, and de cuss out does come with subtitles if yuh lip-reading.
Yesterday, de East Bank Road turn into a parking lot. Nah, not de fancy mall kind—a real sweatbox full of angry people and crying children. People didn’t even bother fuh play music—dem just stare at de clock like dem bladder got a deadline. One man seh he nearly cry when he see a coconut vendor passin’ faster than de traffic.
At first, people seh maybe is another funeral, like de one that shut down traffic last year. But no, this time it was road repairs. But is not that which cause the chaos. Is Mr. Bore de Line. That man got more disciples than any prophet. Every day, drivers treating de road markings like modern art. Cycle lane? Bore it. Pedestrian crossing? Bore it. One man try use a trench as an overtaking lane. Another fella overtake on a footpath, smile and wave to a lil schoolgirl like he just win Road March.
But when all dem line borers try cut back in—bai, is like a python tryin’ to eat itself. De traffic just curl up and dead. People lef home 6am and reach 6pm. Not to wuk—back home.
And de police? Dem boys seh some of dem must be majoring in Advanced Observation. Yuh could be overtakin’ on a roof and dem still scrolling Facebook. If line-boring was a jailable offense, Guyana woulda need five new prisons, two trench lockups, and a cell behind GPL office.
Dem boys seh we need drastic action. Put a police at every corner wid a loudspeaker and a drone. “Oi! Yuh wid de reconditioned Prado—reverse back or prepare fuh public shaming!”
Until then, we should update de national motto: “One People, One Nation, Bore de Whole Line.”
And leh we face facts—if Moses did bore de line, he woulda still be stuck outside Mahaica waiting fuh de traffic to clear.
Talk half, leff half!
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