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The best advice ever
(Kaieteur News) – A man once asked an elderly man, “Do you have any life advice?”
The elderly man answered, “Be useless so that nobody can use you.”
Dem boys seh that is probably the best advice anybody could give in these modern times. Because in Guyana, once people discover you useful, is trouble.
You can fix a printer? You become the office IT department.
You know how to organise things? Congratulations! You now organising the office Christmas party, the staff conference and somebody else wedding.
You lend somebody $20,000 once? You become their bank.
And if you ever demonstrate that you can keep a secret, forget it. You become everybody confidential adviser.
Dem boys seh being useless has its advantages. If you can’t cook, nobody asking you to cook. If you can’t drive, nobody asking you to pick up anybody from the airport. If you don’t know anything about computers, nobody calling you when the Wi-Fi stop working. And if you have a reputation for knowing nothing about politics, people might actually leave you alone at a social gathering.
The problem is that Guyanese society has become addicted to useful people. Everywhere you go, somebody looking for somebody who can “help.” “Boss, you could just sign this?” “Boss, you could just look at this?” “Boss, you could just make one lil call?” That “one lil call” eventually becomes twelve calls, three meetings and a WhatsApp group.
Dem boys seh the elderly man understood human nature. The minute you become useful, people stop seeing you as a person and start seeing you as a resource.
So sometimes, the wisest thing is to master the art of helplessness. When somebody asks if you know how to do something, say, “Me? I ain’t know nothing.”
When they ask if you could help, look confused. And if they insist, tell them you just discovering how to operate your own phone.
Dem boys seh life is short. Don’t spend it being everybody’s emergency service. Be useless. You might just live longer.
Talk half. Leff half.
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