Latest update April 28th, 2026 12:30 AM
Uncle Sam got real nephews in Guyana
Kaieteur News – Dem boys seh Guyanese gone so American, even the bald eagle want to apply fuh residency in Guyana.
Twenty years ago, if you walk round and seh “Halloween,” people woulda ask if is some new movie. Dese days, people dressing up like Dracula, Minions and Megan Thee Stallion and parading in Giftland like dem heading fuh Broadway. Even lil pikney knocking pon door asking fuh candy. In Guyana! Dem boys seh is only a matter of time before dem start carving pumpkin in front dem zinc fence.
And don’t talk ’bout Labour Day. Ask somebody in town if dem celebrating Guyana’s Labour Day in May, and dem gon squint like yuh talkin Portuguese. But mention “Labour Day weekend in New York,” and suddenly everybody got a cousin in Brooklyn and a ticket “booked since February.”
Dem boys seh Thanksgiving tek over like a PPP press conference. People roasting turkey like dem living in Washington. And dem inviting friends over. Yuh never see such stuffing and cranberry sauce since Cable TV come. Nobody nah thankful fuh GPL, but everybody thankful fuh imported turkey breast.
And Black Friday? Oh lawd. People camping out in front store like dem protesting. Is not even a holiday, but dem lining up 3 o’clock in the morning fuh buy flat screen TV dem can’t plug in because blackout.
Now tonight is the real joke. July 4th. Independence Day — American Independence Day — and dem boys hearing whispers ’bout fireworks display over de Seawall. Some even planning barbecue and dressing in red, white and blue. Dem seh is “in solidarity,” but dem boys know is just another excuse fuh bruk diet and post selfie.
Dem boys seh if America ever run out of patriots, dem could just charter a flight to Guyana. We got people more American than Joe Biden.
But leh we see how much of dem gon remember Mashramani next year.
Dem boys seh, careful yuh don’t wake up in Georgetown and find out yuh passport now seh “Made in the U.S.A.”
Talk half. Leff half.
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