Lessons from my mother… A 91-year-old matriarch passes the torch to the next generation

May 08, 2022 News

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Kaieteur News
By Rehanna Ramsay
As a businesswoman and matriarch of the Eytle clan, Mrs. Gem Eytle has the distinguished honour of passing on some of the customs, beliefs, and traditions which her mother gave her to the next generation.
The 91-year-old mother, grandmother and great-grandmother recently reflected on her childhood and shared fragments of what she called lessons from her mother – Mrs. Jane A. Morgan.
At 91, Mrs. Eytle is full of vigour and refuses to just sit and let life pass her by. She is very active – something that she most likely inherited from her mother, along with her charm, refined nature, courage, and indomitable will.
Her work ethic and capacity to manage home and business, she said, are traits her mother had instilled in her.
To this day, Mrs. Eytle is still very involved in the management of Frandec Travel Services, a business, which the family has been involved in for many years.
“I was the eldest of six children; I had four sisters and a younger brother. We all grew up in Georgetown, in the British Guiana era. My father worked with the government and my mother managed everything else in the home. She basically took charge and made sure we were brought up right and that we were well-rounded,” she explained.
“As the eldest, I had to look out for my younger siblings though we had hired help. It was my duty to assist because my family was always entertaining; there were always people stopping by our house here in New Market Street [Georgetown] for tea or something,” she said.
That aptitude for hospitality is still evident today. “I think that she (mother) left an indelible mark on me, when it comes to etiquette and entertaining others and I have taught that to my children as well.”

ETIQUETTE
Mrs. Eytle said that she grew up in an era where women were taught that having proper etiquette was equal to having class. Back then, she said, “we wore hats and gloves and learned intricacies of manners as soon as we could be taught.”
She recalled fondly that women wore hats to a number of functions and places such as weddings, church, garden parties, and outdoor events as well as ceremonial functions.
Though those days are long gone, Mrs. Eytle laments that the value and importance of etiquette seem to have gone missing in the younger generation.
She noted, however, that decorum is sadly lacking.
“Everybody wants to grow up before their time. I say to them, take your time to grow up, do the right things with your youth because you will have more time being old,” she explained.
Besides having proper etiquette, Mrs. Eytle noted that her parents, particularly her mother, ensured that she and her siblings were academically sound and good homemakers.
“I learned cooking skills and how to sew so I could teach my sisters. Along with my mother, I taught my sisters to cook and sew. We had to be well-rounded; we would make our own clothing and knit our socks for Sunday school,” she recalled.
As such, as soon as she completed her Cambridge examinations as a young woman, she recalled that she became a student at Ms. Rockliffe’s Commercial School and then Carnegie School of Home Economics.
At commercial school, she was taught everything and not just tangible skills such as typing and shorthand but office etiquette and general manners as they relate to the working environment.
In 1949, she first joined the British Guiana Civil Service as a clerical assistant at the Poor Law Commissioner’s Office.
She later worked with the Geological and Survey Department, and then the Supreme Court Registry as a Secretary to the Chief Justice and the puisne judges.
She recalled that in that position, she often spent long hours working into the night on the eve of some sentencing hearing or the other, since the judges usually did not come to their decisions until late in the evening. She worked with the judges until 1954 when she was forced to resign from the job after she got married.
In pre-Independence Guyana, a married woman was not allowed to work in the public service. She resigned gracefully and married the love of her life, Mr. Frederick ‘Freddie’ Eytle, with whom she shared almost 40 years of marriage until he passed away.
MOTHERING
Soon after marriage, Mrs. Eytle took on the role of mothering her two children, Raymond and Kathryn. To them, she passed on the lessons her mother taught her, in hopes of them passing them on to the next generation. She is a matriarch who has been active in the lives of five generations of her family line.
Mrs. Eytle’s son, Raymond Eytle, works as Senior Assistant Registrar at the University of the West Indies campus in Mona, Jamaica. He is married to a Guyanese Veterinarian, Sarah, with whom he has two children, Kaiel and Tamaisha and a granddaughter, Santi – Santi is Mrs. Eytle only great-grandchild.
Her daughter, Kathryn Eytle-McLean resides in the US and is also married to a Veterinarian, Dr. Nicholas McLean, and they have one son, Kani. The family manages Frandec Travel Services and its affiliates.
Given her role in the family business, Mrs. Eytle goes into the office at least once per week despite of her age. “I can’t sit around here just doing nothing. I would rather wear out than rust out,” she said, explaining that, “in sitting down, you can only gather rust and dust, but wearing out means you are using up all your material until it can no longer be used.” “I think I learned this also from my mother who was always an active person,” she added.

Mrs. Eytle is also very involved in her children’s welfare; she took great care to be very active in their lives. Her daughter, Kathyrn told Kaieteur News that she learned the most about hospitality and etiquette from her mother. “She is the hostess with the ‘mostest’!” she said.
A true statement, as Mrs. Eytle still spends her time cooking, sewing her own clothing and gardening, even as she remains very much involved in numerous charitable causes. She also loves baking goodies and staying in touch with all of her friends via telephone, Facebook and WhatsApp, Facetime and Zoom.
Mrs. Eytle has so far led a full personal and professional life, but has applied herself with vigour to every activity she has engaged.

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