Things and titles that bother me

Nov 10, 2021 Letters

Dear Editor,

Kaieteur News – In these hypersensitive politically correct times, I am surprised that some objectionable things, as they ought to be discerned and defined today, are not protested against, a source of many denouncements. In a time when the worst is imagined for everything ranging from sheer innocence to outright stupidity (sorry) to ancient history to utter indecency, it is astonishing that many have not taken up arms in the fight to keep communications channels clean, and culture wars going.

First, is the very first word in this letter, as it is customarily used. To me, ‘dear’ sounds a shade suggestive, like some opening line in a cheap barroom encounter. Since the distinctions in gender orientations have become blurred, the use of the word ‘dear’ comes across (or should have) as a come-on and invitation to what only divine powers know resides in dark and dangerous minds. It should not escape attention that I have refrained from using ‘God’ or ‘Lord’ for fear of upsetting the finely tuned atheists in the midst.

Then, there is this small matter of herd immunity. I must let the Hon. Minister of Health know that I protest sharply at he (and his people’s) consigning me to the lot of dumb beasts and beasts of burden (or whatever). I will accept viral immunity, though it stretches accuracy too thinly. How about localized or stay-in-place immunity? Since the Minister is the one with all the answers, he should cure this unhealthy state of affairs.

Next, if I were the holder of that omnipotent office, I would have serious problems with Vice President. Though it has extensive relevance in today’s Guyana, I would not want that near my name: too many negative connotations. Even if they were to apply, I would have a fit for some characteristics so close to the truth being so near, as in an officially recognized title. I prefer the North Koreans’ approach, which offers something that sounds like Son of Virtue, or Celestial Gift.

I always marvel at the description of women as heroes. Even knowing media has been guilty of this gender faux pas, an insulting one, if you ask me. But, since nobody consulted with me, I must ask of the purists, and ultra-vigilant, how come this has passed muster repeatedly? Why no objections to the masculinising of these (taking a chance) lovely heroines? Could it be that they have less than passing familiarity with the feminine form of the word? I prefer the feminine one, and make no bones about it.

Now, since I usually venture where no other Guyanese go (including fools), I plough forward. I do so, because I, too, am in need of a helping hand. I am uncertain as to which is fit and proper: is it Amerindian or indigenous or native-born? If it is the latter, I am going to have to be careful, since I like to use ‘natives’ when I seek to insult local political operators and their criminal comrades. Help!

Sincerely,

GHK Lall

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