Life is about managing expectations

Aug 16, 2014 Letters

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DEAR EDITOR,
The human mind works in mysterious and unpredictable ways. At one time you are happy and on top of the world and then in an instant you experience a change of mood and you become tired and depressed.
Different people react in different ways to situations and circumstances in life. In other words, our response mechanisms are not quite the same. Some people constitutionally are more capable of dealing with stress and depression than others, even though almost everyone at some point in their life and with varying levels of severity, experiences stress and stressful situations.
According to medical experts, some level of stress is actually good for our health but, like anything else, too much of it can be harmful. This is why some knowledge of stress management is a useful thing. We have to develop what is known as ‘coping skills’ since life by its very nature throws up challenges from time to time which, if not properly handled, could bring harm to us.
These thoughts dawned upon me as I reflected on two recent deaths which took place recently.
The first had to do with someone I knew from the Ministry of Health who committed suicide a few weeks ago. He was full of energy and zest and performed his duties with much dedication and commitment. The last thing you would think of him was that he would take his own life. He was smart, ambitious and forward-looking and as far as I could remember of him, he never displayed any signs of depression or suicidal tendencies.
I am still baffled as to why he took that ultimate decision to take his own life at the prime of his physical and professional life. I always thought that he had a far way to go in terms of his professional and academic life, given his drive and high energy levels. But as fate would have it, he literally kicked the bucket much to the surprise, disappointment and sorrow of those who knew him.
The other death that has shocked the world is that of internationally acclaimed actor and comedian Robin Williams who from media reports also took his own life after experiencing bouts of depression. He was still relatively young and at age 63 had much more to offer to the entertainment industry.
Here was a man who actually made it his duty to make others laugh and to end up taking his own life was something that most people found difficult to accept and come to terms with. According to media reports, he hanged himself with a belt in his Northern California home after he had sought treatment for depression.
It is said that there is a thin line between sanity and madness. We all have streaks of madness in our physical and psychological make-up and are therefore prone to behave at times irrationally and angrily. This is normal and could easily be treated with calm withdrawal and stress management techniques. If allowed to continue untreated for prolonged periods it could lead to severe depression and in some cases suicide.
Depression, like so many other ailments, is treatable and ought not to lead to suicide if such treatment is sought on a timely basis. Mental health is an important element of total physical health and should be taken seriously by all. The Ministry of Health has a mental health unit where assistance can be rendered to those who are in need of help.
Many people are depressed because of situations which they feel cannot be changed. But life is full of surprises and life can get much better than one could possibly dream of. There are some people who end their life because of the horrible things they did to their fellow men and fear the consequences of their actions when they are captured or boxed into a corner where escape is no longer possible. The most notorious case in recent memory involved Adolf Hitler who opted to take his own life rather than being captured at the hands of the victorious Soviet forces.
Not only did he shoot himself but his loyal disciple and information czar followed suit by killing his wife and children rather than surrendering to the advancing Soviet troops. These are extraordinary situations, but we must not forget that right here in Guyana we had a situation of mass murder and suicide at a place called Jonestown in Region One, where hundreds of lives were lost because of a fanatic power drunk leader.
All of this is somewhat peripheral to the main thrust of this article which essentially posits that behind every dark cloud there is a silver lining. Or to put it in another way, the darkest hour is nearest to dawn. This is why it is important to resist any temptation to give up and do silly things during times when everything may seem gloomy, because the dynamics of life can change in an instant and good times begin to roll.
Being happy is something that is within our grasp. And it has nothing to do with money or fame, but with our inner sense of being at peace with ourselves and our station in life. Many people set too high expectations in life which are unattainable and therefore lead to tension and frustrations.
Life is about managing expectations and maintaining a healthy balance between being goal-oriented and realistic at the same time.
Hydar Ally

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