‘Joe the pincher’

Oct 26, 2008 Features / Columnists

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The Parrot is keenly following the US Presidential election. If the polls are to be used as a benchmark to determine a winner, then it is clear that the Democratic nominee will be taking the Oath of Office on January 20, 2009.

Of course, polls can be wrong. This was the case during the primaries; a case that gives the Republican nominee much hope.

Will the history of a wrong poll repeat itself come November 4, 2008? The day after that, hopefully, will provide the answer.

Whatever the outcome, a new leader of the free world will inhabit 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue: the White House.

The US Presidential election attracts global attention. Policies there, or change of, affect others. Those who contest the election there are forced to campaign on issues.

As a result, current policies can be changed with the advent of a new tenant in the Oval Office. Some policy changes can have negative impact on parts of the globe. The impact seems proportionate to policies passionately advocated during the campaign.

We have seen the fluctuating polls and how a particular issue can cause one candidate’s number to fall or rise.

The Sarah Palin factor gave Mc Cain an upward bounce in the polls just after the Republican convention. He took the lead and kept it for some time.

Then his worst nightmare became a reality; Wall Street collapsed and so did his poll numbers. It has been trailing Obama’s since, and by a wide margin. The recent articulations of his Veep are not helping to recreate the bounce she brought.

Things have gotten so bad, in terms of the damage she has been attributed to have caused the campaign, that one media house there was bold enough to suggest that John dump her.

It seems as if the glitter and glamour, so unique to Sarah, have faded and have been consumed by what has been described as her inability to deal with real issues.

Her worst nightmare has to be her interview with Katie Couric. Oh, doesn’t she wish that someone can pinch her, with the hope that she can wake up from what John would want to believe is a dream.

It’s not a dream that we, in viewer land, can’t believe that she doesn’t really know what the Vice-President does. She actually said in another interview, that he/she is in charge of the US Senate. Oh boy, fodder for the talk shows.

Whatever is said of Sarah and however history may judge her, for me, she was a “freshman” that took the campaign by storm; a storm that perked the Republican base; well, as least then; a storm that caused thousands to gravitate to a Mc Cain rally. Was it a Palin rally that included Mc Cain?

Whatever, she has my attention whenever she’s on. It’s not very often someone that physically stunning is the centre of attraction in U.S. politics.

No offence to others. Also, she has ensured that Tina Fey has a job, if needed, for a Sarah Palin movie vis-à-vis, Josh Brolin in “W”. But, as I alluded earlier, it’s not over; the fat lady is yet to sing.

It’s still possible that Sarah can be Veep without knowing what has to be done. Wouldn’t that be interesting for the next four years?

Ah, I can imagine the ballooning number of television viewers during those years. Ouch, that hurts. Why did you pinch me? As it stands, John and Sarah need to bounce again.

What can provide this bounce? Well, it seems it’s a man named Joe; not the carpenter; the plumber. Apparently they can’t get it from a man named George; George took a bushing, ah sorry, a bashing for the last eight years.

He, Joe that is, seems more popular than Barack and John; even Sarah. But where is Joe? Out plumbing I presume.

Barack spoke eloquently of Joe during a rally. John rebutted subsequently, pointing out that Barack’s description of Joe’s financial situation was inaccurate. At first, rally-goers thought that Joe was just symbolic.

This changed after John’s bit. Everything has seemingly changed since. Confusion reigned. Questions asked. Was Joe for real? Even Joe was confused; maybe still is. How did he get involved?

Well, it seems more like why was he dragged in? Poor Joe is probably rueing the moment when he had that, now infamous, conversation with Barack. Did the conversation really happen? Only Joe knows.

It seems, regardless if the conversation occurred that Joes have been catapulted into stardom. Given the celebrity status Joe is attracting in the costly prime time for television, it is as if all the Joes want to be a plumber despite them being janitors, mechanics, doctors, etc.

So one of the things John should consider to bounce back his campaign is to contract chocolate singer, Eminem, to sing his trademark chorus, “…would the real Joe the plumber please stand up, please stand up…”

This would definitely help to attract many young voters and all the Joes. The result? Larger crowds for John and Sarah and smaller ones for Barack and Joe. Yes, Joe Biden that is. Remember him?

He is a real Joe running to be Veep. This causes one to contemplate whether the Joe references were not coincidental by the Democratic ticket.

Was it that because they already had a Joe on the ticket that it was used to attract other Joes? Was this an attempt to take advantage of the fact that the general public is often referred to as Joe Public?

Is this what John saw? Having no Joe on his ticket he decided that at all costs, the “Joe effect”, as introduced by the Democrats, must be prevented from being induced into the public? What a difference a name makes.

Parrots my age and older would remember a Joe; the one who built a house in the school text. By the way, what ever happened to him? Did the Wall Street fiasco affect him? Why didn’t John speak of that Joe?

I know a Joe that Sarah would love to have around; Joe the pincher who can hopefully induce insomnia to prevent her from having the current nightmares. Did I see hands volunteering? Ah, put yours down, your name is not Joe, Sandy. Squawk! Squawk!

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