Timing is everything

Feb 14, 2026 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

(Kaieteur News) – Today is Valentine Day and when dem boys read about some of dem prices what dem eating houses charging, dem boys decide fuh play sick.

One man seh he nearly faint when he see a “Valentine’s Special” is $25,000 and all yuh getting is two forkful of rice, one chicken breast cut in half like it applying fuh passport, and a slice of cake small enough fuh hide under yuh tongue. And dem call it “fine dining.” Fine fuh who?

Another one seh the menu got names longer than the Berbice Bridge toll line. “Pan-seared, herb-crusted, flame-kissed chicken medallions resting on a bed of aromatic rice.” Is plain fry chicken and rice, bai. Just say so and leh we mind prepare.

Dem boys seh instead of going out, they gon cook at home. One man light candle, spray lil air freshener, and tell he wife is “five-star ambiance.” The only star she see is the one spinning round she head when she taste the salty stew.

One frugal fella even print he own menu:
“Tonight’s Special: Whatever deh in de fridge.”

Dem boys seh love might be priceless, but apparently dinner got VAT, service charge, and heartbreak tax included. Valentine’s Day come and one romantic wife decide she gon’ test she husband love. She send a long, sweet text: “If yuh sleeping, send me yuh dreams.
If yuh laughing, send me yuh smile.
If yuh eating, send me a bite.
If yuh drinking, send me a sip.
If yuh crying, send me yuh tears.
Now this husband ain’t the flowery type at all. Man does forget anniversary like how people forget umbrella in dry season.

He read the message, scratch he head, and text back:

“Babe… ah deh in de toilet. Wah exactly yuh want me send?”

Talk half. Leff half.

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Berbice Bridge toll, Dem Boys Seh, Timing, Valentine Day

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