Is a lack of financial literacy ruining your relationship?

Feb 08, 2026 Features / Columnists, News

---

By Dr. Telford Layne Jr. PsyD, MSc. Postgrad, BSc.
Clinical and Developmental Psychologist – Psychoanalyst
Unwrapping Gift -Clinic

(Kaieteur News) – Financial matters are more complicated and complex in a relationship than infidelity. Hence, there is a need for financial accountability and transparency due to financial infidelity and abuse. I wish parents, especially Christians, would be aggressive and intentional about their children becoming financially literate as they are with religion. It is estimated that financial problems contribute to 30-40% of all divorces. For every 10 marriages that end in divorce, three to four of them are because of money. The financial stability of the home is primarily dependent on men. However, it is women who are more likely to continue life after the death of their partner. In every relationship, there is a spender and a saver, a saver and a saver, or a spender and a spender.

What complicates finance in a relationship is our cluelessness about financial management. Our parents never taught us about finance; we watched the interplay between our parents and finance. One parent uses money as a form of control, giving it without boundaries.

Now, as adults, our financial literacy is shaped by our parents’ poor and abnormal relationship with money. We formed our own financial ideologies in our lives and relationships, and the cycle of struggle continues.  We can never overestimate the level of resentment financial matters breed in homes.

This is 2026, where did you get the belief and understanding that men are to give women money and if he doesn’t, he is not a good man? Do we give women money because they are women? This is just as ridiculous as saying women should not work but stay at home, cook and raise children. Ascribing financial roles in a relationship should not be based on gender or tradition but on financial literacy and competence.

Before entering a relationship, one has to have sound financial literacy. They must understand the importance of investment, saving and making sound financial decisions. This depends on their family, origin, race, culture, education, mental health, and self-awareness. Individuals struggling with mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, chronic anxiety, impulsivity, obsessive compulsive disorder, and substance abuse are among those who are directly affected by an individual’s cognitive capacity to make sound financial decisions.

Childhood experiences such as abuse, neglect, or poverty influence financial habits; early financial education can help build healthy money behaviors and resilience.

Money is a value, a tool. In the 21st century, it is not to be saved, lest it lose its value, but to be invested. This ability to have money work for you rather than you working for it is a critical concept to be comprehended.

Financial literacy must start at age 3 or 4. By teaching kids about money early, you are giving them skills they will use forever. Financial literacy helps them make smart decisions, avoid debt, and even build wealth. Whether it is through an allowance, saving for a goal, or exploring investing, these lessons will prepare them for the future. Budgeting and other financial decisions are critical for successful adulthood and better relationships. A robust financial education profoundly influences a child’s mental health and attitude toward money. Knowledge about finances not only sets children up for economic independence but also enhances their sense of security and mental well-being,

What are your financial decisions in relationships like now? Do you give your partner money to buy assets or liabilities? How much do I spend on assets and liabilities yearly?  Do I spend because of my trauma needs to be seen and heard, based on the vital need to maintain a healthy lifestyle?  The lack of money reminds me of childhood and gives the impression that I will end up there. Do I save over investment out of fear, anxiety and false belief? Do I give my partner money out of fear that if I stop or no longer can do it, they will leave? Would I rather spend the money my partner gives me than invest? Do I shop for everyone else and not myself? (People Pleasing, impact of emotional neglect)

What about your financial expectations in a relationship? Do I feel entitled because of my gender to get an allowance? Do I get upset when I am asked to be financially accountable? Do you get upset because you feel controlled, but, deep down and unconsciously, resent being accountable, feel like a child, and feel that my financial freedom is taken away when I am asked to be accountable? Am I living pay cheque to pay cheque because I am buying wants which are unresolved trauma-related rather than needs? Is my passion to save and invest consumed by attention and energy more than taking care of my health and well-being?

See, if one gets upset and struggles to label and or control their emotional dysregulation, it’s most likely they are also struggling with financial management.

Steps in introducing financial literacy at age 4. Let’s start here and build on it each year.

Teaching basic financial skills to kids

Encourage money-related conversations. Money is a commodity that you use,

At this stage, learning the basics what money is used for. How to earn and spend it

Why saving money is important. How to share or give generously?

When and how should they spend or save it?

Make budgeting fun. A simple way to get your child interested in budgeting is to apply it to their own life. Introduce the idea of saving.

Practice healthy financial behaviour daily as parents and individuals. Eating the most fast food and expensive food just after receiving salaries, but eating improvised food leading up to the next payday is a behaviour that’s being modelled to the child. Chances are that it is a generational financial behaviour that is more likely to be cultivated by your child as an adult.

Early money lessons can help kids:

Delay gratification (“I’ll wait and save instead of spending right now.”).  Recognise the difference between wants and needs. Think critically through trade-offs.  Avoid entitlement by linking effort and reward. Build empathy and generosity through sharing.

Next week, Part 11- How to navigate financial clarity, transparency, and financial fidelity in a relationship

---

• divorce, financial literacy, lack, relationship, Telford Layne

---