Jagdeo unedited, unmasked

Jul 24, 2025 Features / Columnists, The GHK Lall Column

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Hard Truths by GHK Lall

Kaieteur News – Okay, let’s get going.  I’ll take a few quick questions.

Thanks, Dr. Vice President.  This is Katherine Hepburn from L.A, L.A News (not to be mixed up with La, La News).  Sir, what is the government’s position on Guyana’s massive oil?

Oil?  I didn’t know that Guyana has any. Who said that? And who is this Exxon that I am hearing about?  What is that some kind of fancy new lady’s lingerie?  Are you sure you are not from La-La News?  No sir, it’s L dot A, comma, L dot A.

From the public broadcasting squad comes a prearranged question, smooth as Johnson’s Baby Powder: what can you report, Mr. VP, about the PPP Government in its war on cost-of-living assaults?  That’s a good question, young man; it’s the kind that will get you places.  Yessir, but the question.  Oh yes, yes, the question.  What was it again?  On cost-of-living, and how the government is making out in its fight?  Oh, that’s easy.  Very well, most encouragingly well.

Follow-up question on the same issue, if it is not a problem, sir.  No problem at all, son; go right ahead.  If the PPP Government is doing so well, as you said, how is it that so many Guyanese have a problem buying basic food items?  That’s their problem, not the government’s.  Look at how many kilometers of new roads this government built, how many truckloads of sand that it is had bought and fetched all over the country.  Those alone should make them feel good about themselves, and forget their problems.  It’s imaginary, all in their heads.  Oh, and by the way, just check with the DPI (or the Commissioner of Information Office) and get an understanding of how many hospitals this government has constructed in the last five years.  Those whose problems make them sick can be assured that there’s a bed waiting for them at any of those world class facilities.

When Jagdeo is on a roll, he is on a roll.  The sad part for Guyanese is that he rolls downhill.

Oh, it’s you again, Ms. La-La News.  What have you got now, and be quick about it?  I don’t have time to waste, as there are many policies waiting to be finetuned and removed from the drawing board and get onto the operating table.  The whole world is talking about Guyana and oil in the same breath, so I have to take a look to see what all the excitement is about.

L.A, L.A News: Dr. Jagdeo: how is the Guyana Police Force performing?  Jagdeo: is that a real question, or is that a trick question to make a fool of the government?  Anyways, the police are doing well, much better than when they were under the PNC.  Journalist: do you have any stats, any supporting documents that L.A, L.A News can share with its readers?  Jagdeo: c’mon, folks.  I am very busy, go to the Office of the Commissioner of Information, why do you think that office is there, and all those millions are spent each year on it?  We did, sir, but there’s a sign that says out to lunch.  Jagdeo: did you try going earlier in the day?  We did, and there was a different sign that says gone fishing.  Jagdeo: that’s the problem in this country at this time.  Getting good help is such a pain up the, ah, nose.  Capacity, capacity, capacity; it’s always a trial.  I am making a note of it, and speak to the president.  He is in charge, and should be able to sort this out.

Unnamed News Entity: Dr. Vice President: how do you see the PPP’s chances in the September 1 elections?  Will it win?  Jagdeo: A big victory is assured, a big victory.  Newsman: what happened to the landslide win that you yourself had guaranteed at a previous gathering?  Jagdeo: that’s the trouble with you guys, always knit-picking.  Are you sure, you are not from La-La News?  Anyhow, a big victory is just a smaller landslide.  The Americans have a saying for things like that: same difference.  Oh, one more thing, and let this be a warning to everyone here today.  Anyone, I mean anyone, who slips up and use that word will be barred from these press briefings.  What’s the word sir, you didn’t say?  Jagdeo: I’ll spell it out just this once.  W-I-N.  Be smart, and not say it, or the police could drum up some interest and pay a visit.  Okay, time to wrap it up, one last question.

L.A, L.A News: how did it feel to be running the show with this third term that you carved out for yourself?  Jagdeo: that does it.  Block these people from ever coming back in my presence.  Off the record, it was a ball.

(The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this newspaper.)

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• Bharrat Jagdeo, GHK Lall, Katherine Hepburn

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