Men doing back to school shopping

Aug 21, 2022 Peeping Tom

---

Boys to Men…

By Nigel Williams

Kaieteur News – The back-to-school shopping exercise provides one of those rare moments of seeing how involved men are in the lives of their children. These past few weeks it has been heart-warming to see many fathers taking to the streets to shop school supplies for their children.

During a trip downtown last week, it was observed that men were not just engaged in back-to-school purchases, but also household in general. The task of shopping for school supplies has always been laid squarely on the backs of mothers, but somehow there has been greater eagerness by our men folk to take up their responsibility- perhaps buoyed by the $30,000 cash grant, which means less funds from their coffers.  As I have said in this column before often when we speak about fatherhood, we tend to only view it through the lens of their responsibility as a provider and although this is a very crucial element, it is not the only roles fathers must play. Shopping for our children is part of the total parental involvement that is being advocated today. Back-to-school shopping increases fathers’ efforts to support their children by directly making a positive impact to a successful educational career from them.

Many researchers recognise the important role that strong positive bond between homes and schools, play in the development and education of children. Theories put forward have been supported, and reaffirmed, by numerous studies that have shown that good co-operation between schools, homes and the communities can lead to academic achievement for students, as well as to reforms in education. Research has also shown that successful students have strong academic support from their involved parents.  During my trip downtown I asked two men why they were doing school shopping, one replied: “the children like when I shop…they said I do a better job than their mother,” the man said with a smirk. He even went on to tell me that – it was not something he particularly liked doing initially, but has come around to accept it as part of his responsibilities as a father.

The other gentleman, told me he had a list, given to him by his wife, which made things easier for him. “Not really,” the man responded when asked if he was enjoying the school shopping. He added however, that he appreciated the difficulties his wife would face in shopping school supplies. “She could not make it to come, but she gave me a list and told me the places I need to go,” the man offered.

We have been raised to believe that the father is the head of the household, but equally the wife or mother looks to him for love and sympathy and for aid in the training of the children; and this is right. The children are his as well as hers, and he is to be equally interested in their welfare.  The children look to the father for support and guidance; he needs to have a right conception of life and of the influences and associations that should surround his family; above all, he should be controlled by love. The father should do his part toward making home happy. Whatever his cares and business perplexities, they should not be permitted to overshadow his family; he should enter his home with smiles and pleasant words. Too often our fathers are characterised as the disciplinarian whose presence in the home is to intimidate the children and ward them off against truly expressing themselves.

On the contrary, this is no evidence of manliness in the father for him to dwell constantly upon his position as head of the family.  A father must not be as a child, moved merely by impulse. He is bound to his family by sacred ties. The father is to stand at the head of his family, not as an overgrown, undisciplined boy, but as a man with manly character and with his passions controlled.

A 2016 research paper titled: The Effects of Involved Fatherhood on Families and how fathers can be supported both at the workplace and in the home by Scott Behson, PhD; Fairleigh Dickinson University, USA and Nathan Robbins Brigham Young University, USA said thusly,  “the diverse effects father involvement has on child development can be grouped together in four categories: behavioural, emotional/psychological, social and cognitive/academic.”

Studies also found that fathers who report close, non-violent connections with their children live longer, have fewer mental and physical health problems, are less likely to abuse drugs, are more productive at work, and report being happier than men who do not have this strong connection. Further, men who are fathers are more likely to be involved in their neighbourhoods, more likely to regularly attend religious service, and more likely to engage in community service. Most fathers aspire to success not just as financial providers and in their careers, but also as involved, loving fathers.

---

---