I am taking a break from writing in the papers

Apr 19, 2021 Letters

Dear Editor,
Ah think ah gon tek a break from writing in de paypaz. I am planning to chance my arm and make a run for the roses, give the other people a run for their money (and useless selves). Nah! I ain’t deh pon runnins or runnin scared, ah jus runnin wild. I am raising my hand from now: I am running for party office. And to just make it truly nonpartisan, it will be across-the-board, present on every occasion that they keep these political carnivals and lovefests.
First up, ah throwing me hat in de ring for the PNC congress, which will be sometime in the long Guyanese summer, definitely hot throughout the year anyway. I just want to shake up things (and peeple) a li’l bit: a brighter face, a clearer head (definitely), and adding a little sparkle to the rainbow, which presently looks a little cloudy. August looks logistically feasible, which is such an absolute no brainer, that I do not need any reminder from dunces dancing on dots; and that is regardless of the corner of the political spectrum from which they hail. After all, my schooling was not about ideology and subversion a la Moscow centered Patrice Lumumba, but as American as cook-up rice; on second thoughts, better make that apple pie, so as not to confuse the intelligence gatherers and covert listeners on Duke Street. Why even bother with a Congress is what I say to PNC comrades? Just mail in the ballots, and leave the rest to the polymaths, which GECOM found so erudite and credible (and defensible, of course). But ah planning fuh run, an if anybady tink deh gon pull ah fast one and raab me, think again, brothas.
I am issuing the same caution to the unstoppable PPP, no less prodigious in the sick, deficit department. Runnin’ at dah Congress, too. DE brainy one caan cow me; ah ain’t de res ah dem jelly belly peeple, who all cower before de big maan and vote fuh who he seh. Vote fuh me, and ah gon tek yu’all places y’all nevah bin before. Principled places, where God and children and simple country folk can be faced without fear of feeling that the holes in unwashed underwear are obvious, despite best efforts at concealment. Ah could take de PPP comrades to honourable places where ah maan could tek ah drink wid dem without watching his pockets (and young children). Or his drink, for fear of being poisoned. The party needs it, and I can give them it.
Same story with de AFC and aal ah dem new hustlers dat call demself the future. If dem is de future, bring back Burnham. Ah gaan so far as fuh seh ah gon brush up pon de Spanish, so bring on de Venezuelans, ah gon tek dem. Dah is how baad dem new peeple stand in my sight. May de best maan win. That would be me, of course. Hands down (counting under the table).
Yours truly,
GHK Lall

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