No traffic cops, no plantain fries, no country

Dec 22, 2018 Features / Columnists, Freddie Kissoon

Whenever prominent citizens are witnesses to my descriptions of unbelievable occurrences in Guyana, the integrity of my journalism is protected. I will name the other witness in the uncivilized descent in the Le Repentir cemetery last Wednesday.
I indicated to AFC, Parliamentarian, Michael Carrington, my reluctance to journey into the heart of the city this time of the year because Guyana is Chato’s Land where nothing is guaranteed. I know my country. I am not a diaspora boy. I am a Guyanese citizen who lived all his years in Chato’s Land. I know traffic shapes would be insane. I had to deliver my wife’s Christmas cakes for Carrington’s grandchildren and Thursday afternoon was the best day for me.
I kept insisting to Carrington that he has to meet me somewhere else where traffic flow would be more civilized. Carrington suggested I drive into Parliament’s compound. I did that. When we were driving out, we saw six (please note, six) traffic cops dressed out in “Macron’s nemesis.” If you don’t know what “Macron’s nemesis” is, it is the yellow fluorescent jackets that the protestors are wearing in their demonstrations to try and topple French President, Immanuel Macron.
I don’t know if I will see Carrington again before Christmas so I invited him to snack with me at Arapaima; the Banks DIH outlet at the corners of Main and Quamina Streets. It was 5 PM. This was rush hour. This was what I was afraid of.
I turned east into Brickdam from the parliament compound then north into Avenue of the Republic. What I saw at the junction of Avenue of the Republic and Croal Street could never (I don’t care to be more careful with words, I say, “never”) happen in a civilized country.
The lights were not working. There were no traffic cops. There are no words to describe that steel jungle we were in the middle of. We were not going to move for a long time. In this insane situation were two container trucks that could not move. Obviously, you ask yourself which country can be so stupid to have these large monstrosities right in the heart of the city during the Christmas traffic hours.
But there was a more pressing question – where were those six policemen in “Macron’s nemesis?” This was a disaster right in front your eyes and there was no policeman to even attempt to regularize the situation. You had to be in that ocean of metal sharks to see what Guyana has become. This is a really pathetic country. But wait for my column on what happened in Le Repentir cemetery.
We would never get to Arapaima and my mind was obsessed with the thoughts of the large cakes in my car for those lovely little children turning into MacArthur’s Park. Remember in the song with that name, the cake melted and all the icing flowed down.
Arapaima was impossible to get. We decided to make a left turn into the famous DEMICO area and come back to Brickdam and get back into the parliament compound and wait until civilization came back to Guyana. We did that after an irascible wait in the traffic.
We crossed over Brickdam to eat at DEMICO Roof Garden which directly faces Parliament.
Carrington ordered chicken and fries. I opted for fish and fries. I know my country. I know how illogical my county is. Something told me to inquire if the sticks will be plantain. The attendant with the most pleasant smile you can see on a person’s visage, politically said to me, “We do not serve plantain fries here, only potato.”
Can you imagine one of Guyana’s largest food chains does not sell our own products? This country is simply unchanging. Rewind the tape exactly one year ago to my column of Wednesday, December 13, 2017 captioned, “Sorry, Mr. Kissoon, we don’t sell plantain fries!” That year it was with David Hinds and the place was Royal Castle on Sherriff Street. This year it was with Michael Carrington and the restaurant is DEMICO Roof Gardens.
Can anyone explain this rejection of plantain chips by these two eating houses? I don’t accept the explanation that because Royal Castle is a foreign franchise, it is prevented from serving plantains. Have these two restaurants done a survey to find out if customers would frown on plantain sticks?
By the way, the bread that goes with the sandwiches that Royal Castle and DEMICO serve is baked in Guyana. Malcolm Harripaul when he was a Customs officer told me that a prominent local, Portguese business family imported their own bread and water. Do they still?

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