Security is de fastest growing profession

Jul 15, 2026 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

Dem Boys Seh…

(Kaieteur News) – One of de biggest employers in Guyana nowadays is de security sector. Dem gat so much security guards that sometimes Dem Boys wonder if we gat more guards than police. When crime decide fuh tek a vacation, security guards does start worrying about redundancy.

Nowadays, if yuh build a house, yuh need security. If yuh open a business, yuh need security. If yuh own a backdam, yuh need security. Before long, if yuh plant a row of bora, somebody gan advise yuh fuh hire a guard fuh watch de bora from hungry neighbours.

Dem who can’t afford a security guard does invest in a dog. Some buy German Shepherd, some buy Rottweiler, and some buy pit bull. But even de rice-eating pot hound does earn he keep. De poor animal might sleep half de day, but once he hear one strange footstep, he bark like he applying fuh promotion.

Matter of fact, some security guards done discover de value of outsourcing. Every night dem reach wuk wid a lil bag of dog food and recruit de neighbourhood stray dogs. Feed dem once, and de dogs become loyal employees.

De guard stretch out pun two chair and catch up pun he sleep while de dogs patrol de compound, barking at every cat, rat and breeze. Come morning, de guard reward dem wid stale rice and a few bones. Everybody happy—the dogs get breakfast, de guard get eight hours sleep, and de employer swear he security system working perfectly.

Dem Boys hear one businessman boasting that he security cameras got artificial intelligence. Dem ask if it could stop thief. He seh, “No, but it could record dem in high definition while dem carrying away de generator.”

Long ago, another place wah did need security was de cemetery. Tomb raiders used to believe dead people had expensive taste. Since not even de rich could afford a twenty-four-hour guard over dem relatives’ graves, plenty families used to avoid burying loved ones in fancy caskets or wid expensive jewellery.

Yet, some tomb raiders still used to dig up graves hoping fuh strike gold. If not jewellery, maybe a gold tooth.

One night one of dem get catch red-handed. Instead of hanging he head in shame, de man had de nerve fuh ask, “But what I do?”

De cemetery security guard look at him and seh, “Man, yuh mek a grave mistake!”

Dem Boys seh de security business now look set fuh expand even more. Everywhere yuh turn somebody watching somebody else. Soon yuh gan need a security guard fuh watch de security guard, another one fuh watch de one watching de first one, and finally one watchdog fuh supervise de whole operation.

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