The male child needs protection – to be emotional seen and heard

Nov 23, 2025 Features / Columnists, News

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By Dr. Telford Layne Jr. PsyD, MSc. Postgrad, BSc.
Clinical and Developmental Psychologist – Psychoanalyst
Unwrapping Gift – Clinic

(Kaieteur News) – From within homes, schools and other institutions, we are raising and culturing our sons to be monsters like their fathers. Raising the male child, son, grandson, nephew, cousin, incorrectly, to deny emotions, is sabotaging ourselves and their future.

Raising men void of emotions and shaming them for expressing emotion is emotional abuse and neglect. It alters your identity, purpose, and ability to be successful, healthy and happy at the same time. Compared to men who embrace their identity and are emotionally healthy, they are way happier and healthier than men.

Don’t Let people around you Stop You from Raising Your Boys into Men. You’re not just raising boys. You’re raising future protectors. Future builders. Future kings.

And if you let softness win in your home—if you let comfort replace character—you won’t just lose your sons…You’ll unleash broken men into a world that already has too many of them.

Let’s be clear: The world doesn’t care about a man’s feelings. It only respects his function.

So, if your wife thinks your discipline is “too harsh,” “too traditional,” or “too outdated”—remind her: You’re not raising a pet. You’re preparing a warrior.

This philosophy is responsible for men’s failings in the 21st century. Making men find their place in society and having distorted views of leadership, protection and provision to their families and society. As humans, we are four-dimensional beings, mental, emotional, spiritual and physical. Each carries 25% of the significance in helping us be healthy and prosperous. It is God’s design, created out of love, in his image and likeness.

Societal Expectations and Masculinity Norms

One of the primary reasons men hide their emotions is the societal expectation to conform to traditional masculinity norms. From a young age, boys are often taught that expressing emotions such as sadness, fear, or vulnerability is a sign of weakness. Phrases like “boys do not cry” and “man up”. Boys do not talk so much. If you are expressive, you are a girl. Reinforce the idea that emotional expression is not masculine. As a result, many men learn to suppress their emotions to fit into these rigid gender roles. This is not only a distortion that creates abnormal cognitive perception and results in diametral behaviours, but evil is destroying the male from within and setting him up to fail later in life.

Fear of Vulnerability and Judgment

The fear of vulnerability is another significant factor contributing to men’s tendency to hide their emotions. Vulnerability is often perceived as a weakness in a society that values strength and independence, especially in men. Many men fear that expressing their emotions will make them appear weak, incompetent, or unmanly. Emotionally mature males are the strongest of all males. There are emotional gains when men are emotional, just as there are mental, spiritual, and physical gains.

Lack of Emotional Education and Tools

Many men lack the emotional education and tools necessary to express their feelings healthily. Emotional intelligence, which includes the ability to recognise, understand, and manage emotions, is not always emphasised in male upbringing. Without these skills, men may find it challenging to identify and articulate their emotions. The leading enforcers of emotionally void and scared men are their mothers, sisters, females in the family, fathers and general society.

Consequences of Hiding Emotions

Hiding emotions can have significant psychological and physical consequences for men. Suppressing emotions is linked to increased stress, anxiety, paranoia, disorders, and depression—lack of relationship connection.  When emotions are not expressed, they can build up and manifest in unhealthy ways, such as through physical ailments or destructive behaviours.

Compromised Physical Health: Men who constantly bottle up their emotions are exposing themselves to chronic stress, which leads to elevated cortisol levels. This hormone imbalance weakens the immune system, making men more susceptible to illness and disease. This continues to result in higher risk for developing heart disease and hypertension, increased muscle tension and chronic pain as their body holds onto the psychological burden. This can exacerbate existing physical ailments and contribute to the development of new ones. The stress of suppressed emotions manifests in gastrointestinal issues, headaches, and other physical symptoms. Substance abuse, a common coping mechanism for men who do not express their feelings, further compromises physical health. Increase in earlier and untimely death.

Psychologically and emotionally unavailable males are likely to be depressed, consumed by sadness, hopelessness, helplessness, and emptiness. Feel fatigued quickly. Have a hard time sleeping or sleep too much. Not getting pleasure from activities usually enjoyed. 75% of persons who attempt suicide are males.

Men who suppress their emotions to conform to society or match their women’s expectation struggles with various behavioural problems.

Problems getting along with others, including your spouse or partner and other family members. Escapist behaviour, such as spending much time at work or on sports. Controlling, violent or abusive behaviour. Irritability or anger that escalates. Risky behaviour, such as reckless driving.

Men who are emotionally suppressed may also struggle with forming and maintaining healthy relationships. The inability to communicate feelings leads to misunderstandings, resentment, and emotional distance in personal relationships. Partners may feel shut out or disconnected, leading to relationship strain or breakdown and divorce initiated by wives.

All this and more because he never saw his father cry. Because he thinks crying is a weakness. Because his woman devalues or shames him for showing emotions. Because his mother would instead talk about his eating habits and helping him with finances rather than asking how he feels.

Encouraging Emotional Expression

To combat the stigma surrounding male emotional expression, it is essential to encourage men to embrace their emotions. This is the primary responsibility of mothers, sisters, aunts, and cousins. Supported by fathers who have taken the initiative to evolve, unlearn the toxic teachings and expectations of traditional man and embrace their identity. To be an emotionally, mentally, psychically and spiritually healthy person.

Role models and public figures who demonstrate emotional openness can also help challenge traditional masculinity norms. When men see other men expressing their emotions, it can validate their own feelings and encourage them to do the same. Additionally, promoting emotional education from a young age can equip boys with the skills they need to navigate their emotions healthily. Starting with the mother-child relationship and evolving into schools, the church, and the organisation and creating a safe space for the male child.

To build this foundation, we need to help men to self-discover so that we can build healthy self-esteem, which is the foundation to be emotionally healthy in a toxic world that produces men and cultivates them to be misfits, disrupt and kill others and themselves.

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• emotional seen, heard, male child, Protection

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