From MAGA to GIGA

Feb 26, 2025 Features / Columnists, The GHK Lall Column

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Hard Truths…

By GHK Lall

Kaieteur News- While over in Trump land MAGA (Make America Great Again) is all the rage, right here by the equator, it is all GIGA.  Never heard of it?  Oh, how could the PPP Government of Ali and Barry and Ashni do so poorly, and keep this grand development such a closed secret!  I do the honors, with special permission from Excellency Ali, as his new PR Fuhrer.  Welcome to GIGA, i.e., Guyana is Great Already.  Eat your hearts out Donny and Modi.  While the US wrestles with the challenges of MAGA, GIGA is a done deal here.  Guyana was already way ahead for bragging rights in the greatness game.  GIGA yesterday, GIGA today, and, well, the rest is as familiar as a sandstorm in the metropolis that is Ogle.  Here’s the story; it is rather spoofy.  Spooky, too.

Come hither, is the siren call to the shores of Guyana.  Tariffs concerns, what are they and where are they?  Let’s make a deal if any is found.  See what I mean, this is a place to do business, and as easy as a, b, c, thanks to Ali, Barry, Ashni, and Godfrey.  I was tempted for a moment to throw in Aubrey, but better sense prevailed.  Want all red tape waived?  Just take American Airlines to the Cheddi Jagan Int’l.  Though there are lots of passengers, there are no lines.  Americans go to the front of any line, if they go anywhere at all, except straight up the bank.  Not the East Bank, but one of the stronger commercial ones.  The foreign exchange rate is inspiring and the service is remarkable.

An American passport and American accent are considered as feathers in the cap by the natives.  Oh, there is also American TV, all 500 channels of them, for the demanding, plus a golf course for the white man’s sport and a little business discussion on the side.  What’s a little chat about this and that among prospective friends?  It explains why so many Guyanese are now avid golfers.  It is goodbye to wickets and cricket and welcome to handicaps and eagles and birdies, and lest I forget, that 18^th hole.  It doubles as a watering hole for some good ole 15-year-old.  To be clear, I refer to aged rum and not the youthful fare for which some members of the PPP inner circle are famous.  These are tiny snapshots of what has made Guyana the talk of the world: Guyana is Great Already.  Ali the Great made that possible.  Jagdeo the Juggernaut has done more than his share.  See why I love these guys, and they me?

For the impatient, I am getting to the sweet stuff.  Taxes.  Ever hear of zero taxes?  Or tax evasion legalized?  Guyana is where that action is.  Ever hear about rules and regulations made to disappear?  Guyana again, and there is the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) standing as living, breathing proof.  The EPA here is so unreal as to be unbelievable.  One very wise, and very American oilman (who else could it be?) said that royalties and profits represent taxes.  He was so smooth that he polished his narrative with words from that old superpower, the Romans.  How about “in lieu of?” My head may be hard, but I am learning, getting with the program.  GIGA-Guyana is Great Already [with a bow to Ali] and I want my share of that action.  Got my red shirt, red cap, and I am a backer of the Red Devils.  No! not the PPP, but Manchester United.  When that group struggle, I am pained.  Now, that is loyalty!

Who would have a problem with no taxes and no regs?  Which foreigner, pray?  Who could see anything wrong with approval in hand for full repatriations rights for profits and other income raised on the side?  Thinking of repatriation of moolah made in Guyana, it is time that an American banking presence takes up residence here.  How about it, Jamie?  If Exxon and Chevron, why not JP Morgan?  Lots of business here; the American component of it alone would be good for those quarterly earnings report watched so keenly by the Wall Street Journal.  One more thing: it is but a short hop, skip, and jump from GT to Caracas.  More opportunity for American business in Guyana, this time airlines.  See what I mean, a businessman’s paradise right here.  The ladies are welcome, too.  Come to Guyana.  Don’t be lured by the rest.  Guyana is Great Already.  This is where the fast money is.  There is big money to be easily made here.  Money in the hills.  Money in the valleys.  Money in the streets.  Just be ready to agree to the usual cut.  Look at what the new White House orchestrated: lesser standards for bribery of foreign officials.  Especially those housed on Robb Street and the old New Garden Street; that is where the big hitters and those with greasy palms and syrupy ambitions are in their numbers.

My mind is now made up: I cannot let this rich gravy train pass me by, like if goat bite me.  I add my voice: Guyana is Great Already.  GIGA!  Hiya!

(From MAGA to GIGA)

(The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of this  newspaper.)

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• Guyana is Great Already., hard truths, Make America Great Again, PPP Government

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