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Begging and borrowing deh in fashion

Jun 15, 2024 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists, News

Kaieteur News – Yuh ever walk through Georgetown and feel like you in one episode of “Begging Wars”? As soon as you step out yuh house, you meet dem professional beggars with dey ready-made lines, “Leff something nuh,” ” Yuh gat a raise fuh me?” and the classic, “Wah yuh gat fuh yuh boy?”

But lemme tell yuh a trick dem boys discover. When dem beggars spot me, I does switch up de game. I start beggin’ dem before dem even get to open dem mouth. “Buddy, yuh got a raise fuh me?” “Leff a lil something fuh a hungry man, nah?”

I does beat dem to de draw. Yuh should see de shock pon dem face! Is like dem seh, “Wait, who beg who here?” Dem does get so confuse, dem just mumble something and walk away quick, quick.

Now, yuh might think this beggar epidemic is de worst ting in de country, but hold on tight. We got a government that could give dem street-side beggars a run fuh dem money.

We is an an oil-rich economy, supposed to be de fastest growin’ in de world, and yet, de government got a beggin’ addiction dat mek dem street hustlers look like amateurs.

Every time yuh blink, dem done gone begging fuh another loan. And hear dis part good, dem ain’t even decide what dem gon do wid de money yet!

Is like dem seh, “Leh we tek de loan first, then we gon figure out de rest.” Signing agreements like dem giving out autographs, and when yuh ask dem what de loan for, dem scratch dem head and say, “Well, we still working on dat part.”

Dem boys seh, if impulsive borrowing was an Olympic sport, our government woulda win gold medal. In one hand, we got oil pumping out de ground like water from a standpipe, and in de other hand, we got de government stretching out dem hand like dem miss de memo about being rich.

De real joke is when yuh see dem ministers in fancy suits, smiling wide fuh de cameras while signing dem loan documents. Yuh woulda swear dem celebrating some big achievement. But when yuh ask dem bout de plans fuh de money, is like asking a teenager what dem gon do after school – plenty talk but no real answers.

We got de fastest growing economy, but it look like we developing a world-class skill in begging. Maybe we should open a Begging Academy – train de next generation to perfect de art. We could even export de talent, since we apparently so good at it.

So next time yuh walking down de street and one of dem beggars approach yuh, remember yuh secret weapon. Beg dem first and watch de confusion unfold. And when yuh hear de government sign another loan, just smile and seh, “Ah, de begging tradition strong in this one.”

Talk half. Leff half

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