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When the Volume Turns Up, the Conversations Turn Down

May 29, 2024 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists, News

Kaieteur News – Long time ago, when a fella went to a party and saw a nice gyal, he could sidle up and start a lil sweet talk without ending up in she ear like a mosquito. But nah, today, de DJ done decide he gon deh give you a free hearing test. Man, yuh walk in de party, and is like yuh step into a hurricane of bass. The music loud like it trying to wake up de ancestors.

Back in de days, yuh coulda sid down with a nice rum punch and actually hear de bubbles popping. Yuh could spot a lady from across de room, give a wink, and stroll over with yuh best line. Now? Good luck wit dat. Yuh better hope yuh know sign language, because yuh gon end up waving yuh hands like a windmill trying to say, “Hi, my name is…” Before yuh get to “name,” she done walk away because she think you mad.

Even when yuh reach close enough to shout in she ear, it’s a whole other story. Yuh gotta go cheek to cheek just to seh, “Hi!” and by de time yuh done scream it, yuh voice gone hoarse and yuh breath smell like de last drink yuh had. Romantic? More like a health hazard.

De problem spill over into bars too. Gone are de days when yuh could sit at de counter and chat with de bartender, who usually know more secrets than a confessional box. Now, you order a drink, and yuh have to mime.

“One rum and coke,” yuh shout, but de bartender hand you a gin and tonic because he thought yuh say, “One rum joke.” Ah mean, what’s de point?

All dis loud music not just drown out conversation; it drown out humanity. Yuh can’t get to know nobody because yuh can’t hear dem. De only ting yuh might learn is if somebody mouth hygiene on point. Imagine trying to chat up a nice lady and yuh leave de party knowing more about she dentist than she favourite movie.

So, next time yuh head to a party or a bar, bring earplugs and a notepad. It might be de only way to hold a decent conversation. Or better yet, find a quiet corner and hope de DJ nah spot yuh and crank up de volume even more.

Talk half. Leff half.

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