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Lessons in corporate diplomacy and creolese
Dear Editor,
Something unprecedented happened a few days ago. For the first time ever, April 1st came and went; just like that. There was not a single April Fool’s Day joke; not one prank. And as if to emphasize how things are in this blissfully frenzied state, this very troubled land, I seem to recall, when looking back two weeks ago, only a solitary reference to the dreaded Ides of March of Caesarian fame.
Clearly, matters have deteriorated to beyond serious here these days, they are alarming.
But just when I was about to give up hope and declare that all was lost, there was blessed relief. This being Guyana – helpless, dependent, woeful Guyana – it took a foreigner, an illustrious one, to perform the honours. For in this the best of times and worst of times (depending on outlook) in this fateful year that is 2019, Guyana’s All Fool’s day joke came from no less a dignified presence than a former ambassador extraordinary and plenipotentiary. And what a one!
I recognize His Majesty (Anglophobes: excusez-moi) Perry Holloway of the still mighty United States of America. These are the stalwarts that continue to keep it great; no need to do so again.
How His Excellency, now plain Mr. Holloway, put on a show for Guyana!
In an unparalleled example of the seamless blending of thought-provoking (not provocative) diplomacy, stirring American English, veiled corporate speak, and boisterous Guyanese creolese, SVP Holloway rolled up starched white sleeves, discarded his old mittens, and donned his brass knuckles. They have to be, no matter how camouflaged. For if those are regular gloves, the Marquis of Queensbury would have had something to say; or, at the very least, they have something suspicious inside. Mr. Holloway got down for a throwdown with the locals. That is showing dem who is boss.
I am tempted to bow in acknowledgement to the now (not so excellent) corporate bruiser; but Mr. Holloway knows that Americans (even paper ones) do not bow before anyone. That notwithstanding, the former diplomat certainly did a number for the local audience.
I confess to being enthralled by his linguistic versatility, media pugnacity, and literary originality. This confirms what I have always suspected: it is that American English is much closer to Guyanese English (creolese) than Oxford or BBC English. Score one for the natives. Now I know why Guyanese who have never travelled beyond the Demerara Harbour Bridge sound as if they have lived in Brooklyn all their lives.
The advocates for creolese have to be thrilled; or at least tickled crimson. It should be noticed that I am struggling to stay neutral in colour selection, so that no one could say I work for GECOM. After all elections are in the air; the nose, too. I suppose that is why citizens have neither time nor patience nor interest in jokes; be they of the usual April Fool’s silliness or any other kind.
I wish that Guyanese (eligible ones) could summon the drive to be just so focused, just so single-minded, just so unswerving on the things that really matter. Things such as honesty, integrity, decency. Things like quiet dignity and pride. For good measure, I throw in standards and values, too.
To corporate ambassador Holloway, a word of gratitude is due for the titillating comedy relief; except that it may not be so funny in some elevations. I thank him for the laffs. I would respectfully recommend that next time around, this be done on All Fools day itself. I think that this talented American is well equipped to launch a third career pursuit after corporate life. The comedy circuit waits. It could use another political satirist cum humorist a la Mark Russell. Spare the pen and spoil the politicians.
Last, this confirms that foreigners read everything; no wonder they are so smart and found so appealing as arbitrators. Guyanese could learn. On second thoughts, I must take that back. Dem guvment ministahs prapah smaat. Deh divorce deh wife, but still live in the same house together. Some resignations those are! Back in the day, deh use to call dem kind ah wise men technocrats and parliamentary secretaries (no voting). Slickly done….
Sincerely,
GHK Lall
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