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RELATIONSHIP
Having a relationship is healthy and important because as homo-sapiens, we are considered social animals who yearn for a relationship with other people. We crave intimacy and the need to love and be loved.
Relationships are always enjoyable at the beginning. It gives some of us butterflies and a jittery feeling, while others daydream more than they breathe and are consumed by the thoughts of a future with the individual. But in reality, relationships are not always like that. Arguments will ensue, tempers will flare, disagreements will emerge, and dislike will occur.
These are some of the reasons why people have so much trouble maintaining relationships or choosing a life-long partner wisely. They do not realize that relationships have to be nurtured just like sowing a seed before one can reap the fruits.
Many of us are attracted to one another for all kinds of reasons but most do not have the ability to choose the right partner. Some, especially women, choose a partner who can shower them with gifts and make them feel important. Others look at their partner’s character, personality, generosity of spirit, values and their connection between their words and actions.
Some have admitted to putting 100 percent into relationships, but received less in return. What makes for a healthy relationship differs from couple to couple. Indeed, different people have different and often conflicting beliefs about relationships, but knowing your partner’s beliefs and attitudes are very important for a relationship. That could lead to trust which unfortunately does not happen overnight. It takes time.
In order for a relationship to be healthy, it needs a few key ingredients. One, is to make sure that both partners understand each other’s needs and expectations. They should not be afraid to state their goals and needs.
Second, there must be communication, compromise and respect for each other’s views. Spending quality time together is crucial to a healthy relationship.
Maintaining boundaries and some autonomy will make for a long-lasting relationship. They would help couples have a deeper understanding of the type of relationship they want. Boundaries should not make anyone feel trapped and they should not be a sign of secrecy or distrust. In fact, they should make couples feel comfortable and what they would like or not like in a relationship.
Nonetheless, not all of us are fortunate to have permanent or long-lasting relationships due to our different personalities. Personalities change over time. As we remain in a relationship we become different people.
We should always remember that we are creatures of our environment, and socialization by and large, tend to shape our being as adults especially in relationships.
A relationship is about equal partnership and understanding one another. Studies have shown that in relationships, partners, particularly women have always attempted to change who they are in order to be accepted by their partners. But compromising their personality in order to please their partners or to maintain the relationship could be harmful.
The truth is no two individuals are alike, each individual is unique and it is their uniqueness that makes him or her the person who they are and should be brought to the relationship and not any personality change.
Attempts by one partner to change the other in order to maintain a relationship would only destroy it. It may appear to work early in the relationship, but as the relationship progresses and becomes permanent, such attempt will fail.
But then again, many seek relationships for different reasons. Some seek security, some seek companionship and some merely seek pleasure. The other partner should know what he or she is getting because the threat of domestic violence is never far away.
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