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Free does cost plenty
Dem Boys Seh
(Kaieteur News) – Dem boys seh Guyanese got two philosophies in life: de best rum is free rum and de best food is free food. Once somebody holler, “Come get a plate,” is like Olympic sprint start. People running down duck curry, cook-up and black pudding like if famine land. And if de rum free? Lawd! Men who swear dem stop drinking since Jagdeo first term suddenly rediscover dem liver.
But old people always used to warn: “What sweet in goat mouth does sour in he belly.” In other words, every free thing does gat payback.
Back in de day, when yuh pull up at gas station, yuh used to get free air. Nowadays yuh does gat to look around to see if dem gat a sign charging you for the air. Soon dem gun charge people for shade under de awning.
Dem boys learn another lesson de hard way at traffic light. A lil hustler run up quick-quick wid sponge and soap bottle and start wiping windscreen before anybody could object.
De glass shine till dem boys could see dem own disappointment in HD. When de man done, dem boys smile polite and seh, “Thank you bai.”
But de man ain’t move. He stretch out he hand longer than budget speech.
Dem boys start pat pocket. Left pocket empty. Right pocket got one old Massy receipt and a mint.
“Boss, ah ain’t got no cash.”
Is then de cussing start.
“Wha yuh mean yuh ain’t got money? Yuh tink dis is charity?” Dem boys seh de same man who volunteer heself to wash de glass now talking like licensed contractor.
One boy whisper, “Next time leh we dirty de windscreen bad-bad. Maybe rain gon clean it free.”
And don’t talk about “free samples” in supermarket. Yuh take one lil cube of sausage and suddenly yuh walking out wid $18,000 grocery yuh never plan for.
So yes, free food sweet. Free rum sweeter. But as de old people know, when something too free-free, keep one eye open and one hand on yuh wallet.
Talk half. Leff half.
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