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Ah need a push!
Dem Boys Seh…
Kaieteur News- Dem boys seh it bin rainin’ cat an’ dawg. One big puddle form right in front a local rum shop. Ole man deh stand up right deh by de puddle wid a stick an’ a piece a string pon de end. He deh jiggle it up and down like he fishin’ in de puddle.
One man pass an’ ask he, “Old bai, wha yuh doin’?”
De old man seh plain plain, “Ah fishin’, man.”
De man watch he, shake he head an’ seh to heself, “Poor ole falla done bruk he head.”
So he seh, “Come leh we go inside an’ get a lil shot.”
Dem sit down, knock back a quarter vodka. De man tun to de old fella an’ ask, “So how much yuh catch so far?”
De old man sip he drink slow slow and seh, “You is number eight.”
But de worst thing dat can happen is fuh yuh car to break down in de middle o’ de road during a rain storm. Dis remind dem boys about the time a man an’ he wife bin fast asleep—deep deep like dem gone to heaven. All of a sudden, bam bam bam pon de door—3 o’clock in de mawnin’ and rain fallin’ like if de sky bruk.
De man grumble, drag heself outta bed, open de door, and see one drunk man standin’ up in de rain like a mop. De man seh, “Bossman, gimme a push.”
De husband seh, “Push? Push who? Buddy, is 3 in de blasted mawnin’. Guh home nah!” And he slam back de door and dive back in he warm bed.
De wife turn and ask, “Who dat?”
He seh, “Just one drunk man lookin’ fuh push.”
She ask, “Well, yuh help he?”
He seh, “Help? Woman, yuh mad? Is 3am an’ rain fallin’ like if de ark coming!”
She look he straight in he eye an’ seh, “Yuh got short memory, boy. Three months back when we bruk down pon de highway, wasn’t two strangers stop and help we? Yuh forget so quick? God does help drunk people too yuh know!”
Dem boys seh he shame like dog. He jump up, pull on he pants, and go back out in de rain shoutin’, “Aye partner, yuh still deh?”
Voice answer back: “Yeah man!”
De husband holler, “Yuh still want a push?”
De drunk man seh, “Yes please!”
De husband holler out, “Well where you deh?”
De drunk man seh, “Over hey pon de swing!”
Talk half. Leff half!
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