De numbers game again

Jan 21, 2024 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists, News

Kaieteur News – Every week, dem police comin’ out like a parade announcin’ how much people dem done ticket and charge for traffic offences. Like dem gat some secret competition to see who could hand out more pieces of paper than de odda. But me ah seh, “Wait nuh! Wah dis really tellin’ we?”

De police dem actin’ like dem deh in a marathon, runnin’ to chalk up numbers like medals. But hold on a minute, nah! Wha we really want fuh know is, how dem numbers stackin’ up against last year? We need de comparative figures to unravel dis traffic ticketin’ mystery.

It’s like yuh deh in school, and yuh get a grade on a test. Yuh go home, and yuh mudda ask, “How yuh do?” Yuh can say, “Ah get 85%,” but yuh mudda ain’t goh satisfied till she hear, “Last time ah get 60%, so ah improve.” See, numbers alone don’t tell de whole story; yuh need dem side by side like bread and butter.

So, me ah suggest de police start tellin’ we how much more people dem chargin’ compared to last year. Otherwise, it’s like boastin’ ’bout how much flour yuh got but nah mentionin’ yuh ain’t got no sugar fuh de bake. We need de sugar, we need de context, we need de before and after, like a good storybook.

It remind dem boys about de time a traffic policeman stop a man for going too slow on the highway. De policeman ask de driver, “Why are you going so slow? You’re holding up traffic!”

“Well,” says the man, “the signs say Highway 40.”

“That’s the road number,” says the policeman, “not the speed limit.”

Then he notices a woman in the back seat, trembling all over. “Is your passenger all right, sir?” he asks.

“Don’t worry officer,” says the man, “my wife is always like that when we come off Highway 170.”

So, dear traffic ticketin’ champions, give we de full story. Show we how much better yuh doin’ this year compared to de last. If yuh really want applause, let we hear how much yuh improve. Until then, dem numbers just floatin’ ’round like lost sheep waitin’ fuh a shepherd. We need de shepherd; we need de comparison – bring it on!

Talk Half! Leff Half!

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