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What it takes
Kaieteur News – I had known her for many years. She was upright and respectable, having trod the straight and narrow path all her life.
She was God-fearing and old fashioned. You would never find her raising her voice or using expletives. She was soft-spoken and mannerly, dressed decorously at all times and her attire was always suited to the occasion. Every occasion had its own dress code, in so far as she was concerned and she did not break these self-imposed rules. She ensured that her children had a sound education, were respectful to others and did not break the law or be rude and ill-mannered.
She mothered four daughters, ensured they all got a secondary school education. None of them opted for university but if they had, she would have supported them. Her daughters were all of independent means but none of them were married.
The old lady’s greatest wish was to have them all married before she passed on. And while there were many eligible suitors known to her, she did not believe in arranged marriages or even in making introductions for her daughters.
She left the choice of partners to them but she was far from reserved in expressing her opinions about their choices. As she told me, she expected any future son-in law to have “what it takes.”
Simple things mattered. For example, she pointed me to a couple who was walking on the left hand side of the road with the woman walking on the outside nearer to the traffic. A gentleman, she explained would always put the woman in the least dangerous side.
I asked her whether class mattered to her in the choice of a suitor for her daughters. She said class was not a criteria but the family should be decent and respectable. She did not wish her daughter to end up with a virago for a mother-in-law.
I asked her about the occupation of a suitable suitor. She said so long as the boy worked, it did not matter what he did.
My next question was, “What if he did not work?”
She was firm in making it clear that none of her daughters can be courted by a non-working man. It was simply unthinkable.
I asked her whether she would agree to any of her daughters marrying a minibus driver or conductor.
She nodded in agreement saying that it was honest and hard work.
I asked her what about if a suitor was a thief.
“Not a chance!” she said.
“But what if he is loaded? What if he can make your daughter comfortable for the rest of her life?”
“Not a chance. Once he is involved in any criminal enterprise, I will not agree.”
“What if the crime had taken place years ago and he was now on the straight and narrow path?”
She answered, “Once a crook, always a crook.”
“What if he is a liar?”
“My daughters would have nothing to do with liars.”
I asked, “What if he is dishonest.”
She said, “No place for a dishonest rascal in my family.”
“What if the suitor is a fraudster?” I asked.
“He belongs in jail, not in our family,” she said.
“But what if he merely rigged an election?” I queried.
The old lady did not answer. She walked away leaving me pondering her failure to answer that last question.
(The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this newspaper.)
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