Coalition list - Dutty trick fuh dutty trick

Coalition list – Dutty trick fuh dutty trick

Jul 10, 2019 Letters

DEAR EDITOR,

I read the latest development in the ongoing soap opera of selecting a chair for Gecom in the predawn hours of Tuesday. I gagged. I can’t be awake; this is a nightmare, and the worst kind: one where my eyes are open and my head is still screwed on in the right place. My immediate reactions are best articulated in the raw creole street tones of Guyana. As Guyanese would say when they have choice and colourful words to utter: expressions.
The government’s list first left me in stunned amazement (this thing can’t be real; these folks are not serious); and then reduced to belly laffs; I wanted to roll around on the ground (what else is there left to do in this godforsaken country).
I mean the darned process is so humorous that it reduces to tears, with the government’s list being the latest rib tickling, in one compulsive and convulsive laff track after another, compliments of a stable of ignorant politicians.
This is Benny Hill, Monty Python, Habeeb Khan, Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy all rolled into one, with Chris Rock thrown in for good measure. My God! What a list. If anything, the government has outdone, outshone, and just plain outed the opposition with this caricature of a concoction. I am so busy laughing that I can hardly think straight; I am wondering whether to denounce or applaud.
It as if the government’s list is intended to convey several high-volume messages. First, ayuh tink ayuh stupid wid dem list dat ayuh keep pushin and shuvin in people face; den tek dis one. Tek dah!
Second, if ayuh tink ayuh hed ain good, wee own mo wuss; wusserer, in fact.
In sum, this is hardball for hardball, utter foolishness for original foolishness. I never thought I would be so glad to retreat to the safe harbour of the Queen’s English. God bless the British (and of course the Americans).
I must wonder what those civilizations think of this latest exhibition of the pathetic and irredeemable insanity (high comedy) of this low society. Like dis is a real jokey country. I told someone that this is gangster territory; and the conclusion was that it is worse than such a description. Guyana is so far gone, that gangster country would be many a step up from where it is.
But enough about that; it is now time for a partial look at the list itself. Truth be told, it has something for everyone, especially hardliners, fanatics, and damn fools. Like the movie of the same name, this Guyanese political version of Butterfield Eight, possesses irrefutable elements of a one-night stand.
The thing cannot holdup to any scrutiny. Which cat dragged this list through the door; remember cats have nine lives, so there is sure to be more lists of this caliber.
This is going mano a mano and not for the jugular, but much lower down, as in below the nabel string (more creole). It is one mess of a pepperpot and thick with flavouring.
The list sizzles with people the PPP, no slouch itself in this department, is bound to see immediately as irrepressible extremists, and with no saving graces. There are some there who would trash it (the opposition) even before the bell rings: foul play. It would be goodbye to calculations about relevancy and validity of any list; casual dismissal of concerns about a date; the later the better. I just love the savage irony of it all: Duh fuh duh nah obeah.
If Guyana is not careful, that particular Gecom chair could become its electric chair; 30,000 volts and counting to incinerate the surges of incomparable and unprecedented national stupidity. Perhaps, it is deserving. Yes, lightning does strike. What a racket this country is. It is not a country, but a real full blown, heavyweight racket.
I can’t wait for the next list. Careful what is asked for: yuh want a list from de prezeedent: tek dah. Try dah fuh size. Mo comin…. Dutty trick fuh dutty trick. Two can play dat game.
Sincerely,
GHK Lall

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