COPING WITH GRIEF

Aug 05, 2017 Editorial, Features / Columnists

People die every day, but when a loved one dies, even if the person’s death was expected due to illness, the grief is profound and the pain could be overbearing. Losing a family member is not easy. Studies have shown that grief is one of those complicated all-encompassing feelings that takes on a life of its own with a gamut of emotions that cannot be easily explained. Not only is grief complicated, but it is the natural response to losing a loved one or something important.
Coping with the loss of a family member or a close friend may be one of the hardest challenges that many of us face. It can be particularly intense. Though dying is a natural part of life, yet we are overcome by shock, confusion and prolonged periods of sadness or depression. The sadness typically diminishes in intensity as time passes, but the depression could linger on. Grieving is an important process to help overcome these feelings by reflecting on the time spent with their loved ones.
It is true that everyone reacts differently to death and employs personal coping mechanisms for grief. However, most people recover from the loss of a loved one on their own through the passage of time and with the help of family members and friends. It may take months or years to come to terms with the loss of a loved one because is there is no set time period for someone to grieve. But there are different phases of grief which can be mentally tormenting. They range from denial to anger to sadness, acceptance and meditation. While these are the suggested natural ways of coping with death, everyone’s response could be different. Grief is raw emotion and no one is immune to it.
However, human beings are naturally resilient. Most of us can endure loss and continue on with our lives. Others may struggle with grief for longer periods of time and cannot carry out their daily activities. They are likely to seek help from grief counsellors. Grief is deeply personal and it varies in type, severity, duration and responses. For example, in circumstances where a person is in a coma, the situation does not provide a space or time for closure. It is an unresolved loss which could overwhelm relatives and friends.
There can be situations where people experience Complicated Grief Disorder (CGD) also known as traumatic, prolonged or chronic grief. This can be accompanied by depression, anxiety and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Grief also has a tendency to create feelings of vulnerability and anxiety and some of the most natural reactions will be avoidance or isolation from friends and relatives, which can exacerbate and prolong the grief. Such behaviour could be very painful and could cause those grieving to experience intrusive thoughts, helplessness and hopelessness. Some may try to numb their pain by excessive working, overeating, substance abuse or excessive use of alcohol. Others will try to end their pain by committing suicide.
Though grief can take a toll on both the emotional and physical well-being, there is no right or wrong way for one to grieve or a usual amount of time in which to go through the process. It all depends on the individual’s personality, circumstances, belief, and support system available. For example, a person’s grief can be intensified and sustained over a long period of time if they have underlying health complications.
Coping with grief and loss is for the most part about managing the practicalities of day-to-day life while dealing with the emotions, especially given all the other pressures in life. Time is important to help cope with the loss of a loved one. Maintaining meaningful relationships and going through the normal grieving process can be helpful and with time, the pain will lessen.

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