More conversations with “De Donald”

Jul 01, 2017 Features / Columnists, Freddie Kissoon

My Saturday, June 17 column featured part of an interview with Donald Ramotar. The caption stated; “Interview with “De Donald at Sleep-In.” I have had requests to publish more answers from the interview with this man who was president for three years and is generally regarded in intellectual circles as the least effective PPP leader.
What follows are more answers from De Donald. I will give it a rest after this column; surely there are more pressing things to write on than the vagaries and fictions in the mind of the Guyanese Medvedev. As stated in the previous interview, DD refers to De Donald.
FK – It certainly looked terrible as President, when the video of you back-balling at this very hotel went viral.
DD – Back-balling is a dance. I like dancing. It is just like gyrating to soca music
FK – But at the time, you were the president of a known Caribbean country.
DD- Like the Rastafari brethren would say; “I maan is just another human being.” When I blackballed with that woman I wasn’t wearing my presidential hat.
FK- Rupert Roopnaraine coined a phrase during the 2011 election campaign that really galvanized people – “No place for Donald” meaning after 1992, all your solid contemporaries in the PPP were given top Cabinet and state sector jobs but not you. The position of Foreign Affairs Minister is always assigned in any country to someone with university qualifications and even Rohee got that job from President Cheddi Jagan. Why was there no place for you?
DD- I must laugh at that. Who did you say invented that phrase?
FK- Rupert Roopnaraine.
DD- Well as you can see; there’s no place for Rupert too.
FK – You are a husband and a father. You were birthed by a woman. Don’t you think men ought to respect women? How could you have defended Bheri Ramsarran after what he did to social activist, Sherlina Najeer.
DD- That was a long time ago. I cannot even vaguely recall what you’re talking about.
FK – Sir that was just one month before the historic 2015 election after which you lost your presidency.
DD – Who said, I lost the elections. They were rigged.
FK – Can you please not change the topic? The question relates to the incident between Ramsarran and Najeer.
DD- I want to talk about rigged elections not Bheri.
FK- You also claimed the 2011 elections were rigged.
DD – They were.
FK- And the 2015 one too?
DD- Yes. You see the PPP never lost an election and will never lose an election.
FK- How is that?
DD- Because we are the PPP. We can never lose. It is as simple as that.
FK- Why do you think the PNC and AFC waited until 2011 to rig the election and even so, you still won the presidency in 2011? Does someone rig an election to lose it?
DD- Well that happened to the PNC and AFC in 2011. They are stupid people
FK – So again in 2015 they rig, and only won by fewer than 5000 votes and lead by just one seat in parliament. How do you explain such kind of rigging?
DD- Well I just answered your question. They are stupid people.
FK – I don’t suppose you see the PPP as stupid people too?
DD- No! No! No! We are the best of the lot. We are better than any other group that was ever born in Guyana.
FK- The list would include people like Bharrat Jagdeo, Kwame McCoy, Kellawan Lall etc?
DD – I don’t think you understand what I am saying. I am saying that once you are in the PPP, you are a superior political animal. You are better than your corresponding number in other political organizations.
FK- That is graphic chauvinism, sir.
DD- Use simpler descriptions. I have no time for big words
FK- What do you have time for?
DD- Reclaiming the presidency
FK- You mean you still have such ambition? Explain.
DD- You see Jagdeo will not win the two-term restriction in the CCJ. So the PPP has to choose someone other than Jagdeo. That someone will be me.
FK- How come?
DD- Because Jagdeo is the Almighty in the PPP. He is the supreme leader. He knows he cannot trust another person in the presidency because he might not be able to control him. But he knows in me, he has a willing servant.
FK- So you are admitting you are Jagdeo’s servant.
DD- In life you have to kiss arse to be somebody. This interview is over. I want to return to my back-balling; the lady is waiting
Writer’s note: this was satirical fiction.

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