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Nah believe everything yuh overseas family tell yuh!

Dec 21, 2025 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

(Kaieteur News) – Dat phone call there was sweeter dan a slice of pepperpot an’ pine tart, but de aftertaste? Pure bitter lime. Lemme set de scene fuh yuh.

Is me, yuh boy, just hang up from a big chat wid muh cousin Biggs, who plant heself in Brooklyn since ’98. Whole talk was ’bout me an’ meh missus tryin’ fuh get dat magic stamp in we passport—de US visa. We talkin’ ’bout splashin’ in Disney World, seein’ Times Square, de whole nine yards.

Biggs, on de other end, sound like he was dancin’ a jig. “Bai, get de visa an’ come!” he bellow, voice full of more promise dan a election manifesto. “We gon’ host yuh proper! Fete, sight-seeing, yuh nah need fuh worry ’bout a ting! Muh wife gon’ cook cook-up fuh days!” He paint a picture so nice, it mek yuh want to pack yuh bag right dere an’ den.

Yuh could feel de hope travel tru de phone line, hot like midday sun. Me an’ meh wife start to really believe dis holiday ting could happen.

Den, de moment I click ‘end call’, de real scene start play out in Brooklyn.  Biggs sink back into he recliner, de plastic cover squeakin’ he secret. He look over at he wife, who watchin’ “Judge Judy” pon de big screen.

He let out a sigh heavier dan a bag of Parliament rice. “Honey,” he say, voice now flat like a busted soda. “Ah hope dem get turn down at de Embassy. Last thing we need is fuh dem to come eat up all we food and ask fuh go sightseeing every day.”

He wife nod slow, neva takin’ she eye off de TV. “Tell me ’bout it,” she say. “And you know dey gon’ want to take back two suitcases full of clothes, paid for by we. Is a whole month obligation we just invite.”

Is so it does go. One set of sweet talk fuh yuh ears, an’ a next, colder calculation fuh de private living room. De diaspora dream, it seem, come wid a secret prayer fuh de embassy to be de “bad guy” an’ just say no.

So, to all yuh preparin’ fuh yuh embassy interview, mek sure yuh suit sharp an’ yuh answers crisp. But remember, while yuh family abroad shoutin’ “Come!” dere might be a quiet whisper in dey heart sayin’, “…but nah right now.”

Talk half. Leff half.

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