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Funerals are fast becoming fiascos and free-for-all

Mar 14, 2025 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

Dem Boys Seh…

Kaieteur News- Dem boys seh, long gone are the days when funerals were solemn affairs where people cried quietly, sang hymns softly, and buried their dead with dignity. Nowadays, dem boys seh, funerals have turned into a full-blown fete, complete with accompanying traffic jams, stampedes, and drama galore.

If you’re planning to attend a funeral these days, you better wear your running shoes. And bring a helmet, because it’s less about mourning and more about surviving the chaos.

Dem boys seh, a few weeks ago, an after-funeral party on the East Coast Public Road turned into a traffic nightmare. Things got so bad that motorists were stranded for hours. Dem boys seh, it wasn’t even the funeral itself causing the hold-up—it was the after-party!

Dem boys seh, people were so busy having a good time that they forgot they were supposed to be mourning. By the time the traffic cleared, dem boys seh, some folks who were late for the funeral, had to ask, “Wait, who dead again?”

And don’t get dem boys started on the stampedes to see the deceased. When coffin open, is a mad rush. Everybody want see the dead at the same time. Dem boys seh, it’s like dem sale wah deh does gat after Thanksgiving. But instead of rushing for a flat-screen TV, people are elbowing each other to get a glimpse of the body.

Dem boys seh, you’d think the deceased was a celebrity or a rare artifact at a museum. “Move yuh tail, let me see de man face!” one man shout, while another nearly trip over the coffin trying to get a selfie. Dem boys seh, if the dead could talk, they’d probably say, “Leave me alone and let me rest in peace!”

Then there are some women who turn the funeral into a performance art show. Dem boys seh, these ladies don’t just cry—they wail, they fling themselves on the coffin, and they gyrate over the dead man face. Dem boys seh, one woman was so dramatic, she nearly knocked over the coffin with her “performance.”

And let’s not forget the men outside the burial ground, dem boys seh, treating the funeral like it’s a rum shop lime. Dem boys seh, they’re drinking, laughing, and making toasts like it’s a wedding reception. “To Uncle Joe—he lived a good life, but he couldn’t hold he liquor like me!” one man shout, raising his bottle. Dem boys seh, by the time the burial done, half the mourners are tipsy, and the other half are wondering if they accidentally walked into a comedy show.

Dem boys seh, funerals used to be about respect, reflection, and saying goodbye. Now, it’s a free-for-all where anything goes. Dem boys seh, if this trend continues, the next funeral might feature a DJ, a food truck, and a bouncy castle for the kids.

Rest in peace? More like rest in chaos!

Talk half. Leff half

(Funerals are fast becoming fiascos and free-for-all)

(The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this newspaper.) 

 

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