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Expensive to die, expensive to tie the knot

Jan 06, 2025 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

Dem Boys Seh…

Kaieteur News- Dem boys seh it now cheaper to live than to dead. Back in de day, you used to gat a lil wake, some dominoes, and two flask of black tea with dry biscuit and butter, and that was it. But now? Dead people causing living people to bawl, not because of grief,  but because of expense!

First, you got to feed all dem freeloaders who coming to your wake. Every man, woman, and child coming like dem tek out insurance to eat and drink till they belly full.  Cook-up, black cake, soft drink, hard drink, snacks — is like you running a buffet, and dem lining up. And don’t talk about the tomb and coffin. If you ain’t spending big, dem gon talk how you send off Granny in a plywood box.

And is not stopping there. Now, you got a big fancy thing call Repass. It’s like a mini wedding reception after the funeral. You got caterers and food flowing like water. One man seh he more broke after his wife funeral than when he married she. Imagine that!

Speaking of marriage, dem boys seh that tying the knot is another way to hang yourself financially. Weddings used to be small and sweet. But now everybody got to have a grand wedding with a guest list longer than de line at GPL.

You got to invite everybody: old school friends, co-workers you don’t even like, and Auntie Shirley who does only show up when food and liquor involve. And don’t think dem bringing decent gifts. One couple get two clock and two mug, and dem didn’t even know people still does buy dem things. But dem freeloaders eat up de curry duck and all kinds of fancy food and drink out all de top-shelf rum like dem is de bride and groom.

By the time you count up how much you spend, you coulda pay off a mortgage or go on a world cruise with your in-laws — and still have change left to buy a house. Dem boys seh the solution simple: elope or stay single. And if you really want to dead, let yuh family tell people you gone abroad permanently. It cheaper.

Just now, living gon become de cheapest ting to do. Till then, dem boys seh it better you live broke than dead broke!

Talk half. Leff half.

(Expensive to die, expensive to tie the knot)

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