Warzone

Dec 14, 2024 Features / Columnists, The GHK Lall Column

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Hard Truths…

By GHK Lall

 Kaieteur News- Missed last month’s edition of the World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) Battlezone?  Don’t tek wurreez, relief is right here.  Longing for a dose of New Bloodline, Old Bloodline, and CM Punk, don’t press that remote just yet.  In Guyana, there is a seamless blend of the Russian Nightmare and the Iron Sheik and it is Smackdown Time.  Welcome to one of Bharrat Jagdeo’s weekly press conferences that doubles as an entertainment bonanza.  There are many Guyanese villains, and one superhero.  Well, the secret is out of the bag: it is Vice President Bharrat Jagdeo.

Like any superior performer and entertainer in front of the cameras and microphones of the WWE, Bharrat “the Brawler” Jagdeo does his best imitation of the unhinged and out of control.  It is former president Jagdeo’s version of former US president Richard “Tricky Dick” Nixon pretense at the madman syndrome.  In addition to that attributes that Jagdeo could summon at will, he is evasive, he is ambivalent and, boy, is he slipperier than a banana peel when cornered and put into a headlock.  All of this and more are part of the political smackdown that is now part and parcel of his Thursday afternoon war-games that he plays in his specially designated warzone at Freedom House.

Like any high-strung, high-octane wrestling bruiser in the WWE (or the old WWF), Jagdeo walks with sidekicks to guard his always exposed flanks.  Some are paid out of taxpayer’s dollars, while a few are beneficiaries of private sector generosity.  They are part of a marvelous PPP Government media scam that shimmies around and flounces up and down every week in the face of unbelieving Guyanese.  Barry “Mr. Afternoon Soap Opera” Jagdeo is the star and he has his band of stooges who stoop to anything for their 15 minutes of fame under Guyana’s broiling sun.  And a paycheck on the side.  When he snarls, they snarl.  When he laffs, they chortle with glee over things about which they are clueless.  It is all part of the fun that has a political rating of ‘X.”  In plain English, that is what Dr. Jagdeo’s press conference have distilled to: political pornography.  Citizens under 25 and those with any gastric condition or borderline psychiatric situation are advised not to watch or listen.

When the Big Man is asked a question on oil, his eyes flare with fury, his lips thin into a grim line: somebody is out to get him, expose his dirty underwear.  In politics, that is better known as spilling sacred secrets.  The man who appointed himself Guyana’s oil master is allergic to oil.  His throat clogs up, like an overused and undermaintained bathroom plumbing line, when he is pressed to speak about it.  His body breaks out into oodles of sweat, which gives off an odor that is easily recognized by dogs and highly attuned human noses.  It is fear.  Knee knocking, gut churning, fear that has the distinctive yellow of bile.

To cover his pallor and mask his odor, as both relate to palpable fear, Jagdeo calls on an old wrestling friend that has proven to be a faithful helper.  His name is Bluster and he is a co-star at the vice president’s weekly press matches.  Jagdeo’s media soulmate has what Guyanese call a ‘false name.’  It is super prevaricator.  If there were any doubts about the substance of the General Secretary’s weekly day at the dogfights (he still sticks to press conferences), then those should have all vanished by now.  Super prevaricator says it all, doesn’t it?  A man is his country’s national oil champion, and he picks fights with female reporters and anemic political opponents.

It is how Bharrat “Dr. Brass Knuckles” Jagdeo smartly uses up the clock, while evading for another week saying anything of note about the Guyanese people oil.  It must be admitted that Guyana’s oil czar is a character straight out of Unites States wrestling lore.  I mean in Jagdeo, Guyanese have a made for TV spectacular and it is all on the house.

There are no cable TV charges, but I hear that he is about to test the waters by converting his Thursday’s Entertainment Today productions into a pay-per-view event.  I neither listen nor watch people like Jagdeo and Ali and the others across the aisle going through the motions of oil leadership.  Most of my attention is paid to my fellow American, Mr. Alistair Routledge, to ascertain what kind of cat comes jumping out of his oil pipe.  He is the real McCoy and he has not gone around slashing at or slandering any Guyanese in an effort to shut them up from beating up on his treasured Exxon.

When I left America, I thought that I had left wrestling behind for good, and that there was life in being the Guyanese Mark Russell.  Oh well….  Like Joe Frazier, I know what the canvas feels like.  Unlike him, I get up stronger.  As for Jagdeo, whenever he is body slammed, he can’t take it on the nose, stand tall like a man.  He has to run and get some sleazy sidekick to fire away from the shadows.  There is a WWE group that suits them just fine: Bloodline.  They are usually at ringside at his Thursday press shindigs.  Oil in Guyana is now showbiz, the dark side of it.

(The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of this newspaper.)

(Warzone)

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• entertainment bonanza, hard truths, Jagdeo’s media, TV spectacular, World Wrestling Entertainment

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