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Letters long like de Berbice Bridge

Dec 02, 2024 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

…Dem Boys Seh

Kaieteur News- Long ago, when people use to write Letters to de Editor, dem letters use to short and sweet, like lil sugar cake. Three paragraphs was de longest anybody dare go. Is like de Editors had one invisible whip in dem hand—if yuh letter long, is cut and chop, chop and cut. And when yuh pick up de paper, yuh use to feel proud fuh see yuh name, even if is only three lines dem lef’ in.

But dem boys notice one thing: times change. De letters now long like dem school assignments when teacher use to give yuh, “Write 1,000 words pon why yuh didn’t do yuh homework.” Some ah dem letters suh long, dem look like somebody printing out de Constitution. Yuh does open de paper and see one letter tekking up two pages. By de time yuh finish read one, yuh forget what yuh was reading in de first place.

Dem boys seh is like people competing to see who could write de longest letter. Yuh got some ah dem letter writers sounding like politicians giving speeches—plenty long talk, but when yuh check, dem ain’t seh nothing new. Some ah dem repeating de same thing five different ways, just like a man who walking round in circles and calling it exercise.

And what really funny is some ah dem letters longer than de Op-Ed column! Imagine dat! Dem boys seh if yuh letter long like that, apply fuh be a columnist, nah. Every day yuh flooding de paper with thesis-length letters like yuh doing research fuh university. Who got de time fuh read all a dat?

De Letters editors need fuh start using scissors again, or better yet, one machete. Chop, chop, and chop! Most ah dem letters could fit into two paragraphs if yuh trim de fat. Cut out all dem big words and long sentences, and leave de thing sweet and to de point. People want fuh read quick and move on, not tek one hour fuh finish one letter.

Dem boys seh back in de day, even big magazine like Newsweek and Time use to edit letters down to four, five lines. Nobody complain, because dem still get fuh mek dem point. Is time fuh de private newspapers in Guyana remember dem roots and bring back de short and sweet letters.

And if yuh really feel de need fuh write long, send it straight to de Editor. Dem boys hear he looking fuh new columnists anyway!

Talk half. Leff half

(Letters long like de Berbice Bridge)

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